Paddy and Murphy are out stalking in the woods when Paddy says
"I'm bursting for a crap but hav'nt anything to wipe my bum on",
Murphy says "Well if you have a fiver use that",
So Paddy goes off for 5 minuites and comes back with crap all over his hands and clothes and Murphy says
"WHAT THE FxxK HAPPENED TO YOU"?
Paddy lookes at him and says
"Have you ever tried to wipe your bum with 3 pound coins 5 20p's and 2 50 pence pieces.

MY APPOLOGIES TO ANYONE THIS UPSETS
It was sent to me by someone who works at Cheshire Police Headquarters