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Thread: Alex Salmond

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    Alex Salmond

    A Scotsman died and went to Heaven. As he stood in
    front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
    He asked, 'What are all those clocks?'

    St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been
    on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.'

    'Oh', said the man. 'Whose clock is that?'

    'That's Mother Teresa's', replied St. Peter. 'The hands have never moved, indicating that she never
    told a lie.'

    'Incredible', said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?'

    St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have
    moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.'

    'Where's Alex Salmond's clock?' asked the man.

    St Peter replied, 'We are using it as a ceiling fan. ‘

    Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent, personified in this case by a 'orrible c@#t, me.

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