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Thread: Being a Santa

  1. #1

    Being a Santa

    Sorry to break some illusions guys just in case some of you still believe in father Christmas but as a part time Santa I'm disgusted !
    I work on the grounds at a prep school and each year am asked by the head of the pre prep (real small kids 4/5 ) to be Santa .
    so I got into my costume and stuffed my already fat belly with a pillow and got into a ho ho ho frame of mind not easy as I'm knackered .
    i jingled into the main hall to an excited audience and had them eating out of my hands with tales of rudolf knowing I had two of his cousins in my chiller ! I gave out the presents to the excited children who on the whole were polite and smiley .i was nearly over and was really starting to enjoy it and coming out of my grumpy mood doing a little question and anwser about Lapland Ect when a child grabbed my hat from behind and shouted I wasn't father Xmas on scrabbling round another grabbed my beard yelling I was a fake not a real santa well I was mortified and looked for support from the staff who were equally shocked .
    i didn't want to do it this year but my mates at work weren't going to step in either and the new head is very pretty and I'm a sucker for the eye fluttering so agreed but as this assault on Santa continued I thought hang on a minute I'll decide who the bloody Santa are around here ! Not you you little sh##s ,I feel deeply traumatised and had I not got to be going to a funeral tomorrow would have taken a day off sick with post Xmas stress disorder .so beware potential Santa the tide is turning and the kids don't believe like they used to or is it because I've shot a few of rudolfs cousins and have bad karma .
    yours Norma
    Last edited by norma 308; 17-12-2013 at 19:34.

  2. #2
    Tell your pretty new head that you will only be santa in future if she sits on your lap.
    https://www.justgiving.com/John-Slee/
    "He who kills sow with piglets empties the forest of boar" My neighbours dad on new years eve 2011.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by basil View Post
    Tell your pretty new head that you will only be santa in future if she sits on your lap.
    Lap? I had a much more comfortable "seat" in mind.
    You can't say muntjac without saying, Mmmmmm.

  4. #4
    What you need is a big fekkin elf!!

    After watching some Gaelic Football, I think an Irish Elf with a Hurley (painted red and green of course) standing next would be the ticket.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Cootmeurer View Post
    What you need is a big fekkin elf!!

    After watching some Gaelic Football, I think an Irish Elf with a Hurley (painted red and green of course) standing next would be the ticket.
    Brilliant idea....Elfnsafety at its best
    Below is a link to my website.
    Quad sticks

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