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Thread: A bit shocked, to say the least.

  1. #1

    A bit shocked, to say the least.

    I got a text off my Dad's wife to say he started his chemo today.....

    WTF??? chemo? I never even knew he had cancer.

    He's currently in hospital having his treatment, I can't phone or e-mail him. I don't know whether to be annoyed or upset that he kept it from me. Apparently my Sister knew but she's kept it quiet too. Why would you do that?
    His wife thought he had already told me, I just thought he had irritable bowel

    I'm sat in my office now, wanting to smash things but typing this seems a better option. Not looking for sympathy just letting off steam, I might even use it as an excuse to take the rest of the day off and do some retail therapy at Macavoy's.
    "It's halfway down the hill, directly below that tree next to a rock that looks like a bell-end"

    Good deals with ~ deako ~ sakowsm ~ dryan ~ 2734neil ~ mo ~ riggers ~ mmbeatle ~ seanct ~ an du ru fox

  2. #2
    SD Regular NorthDorset's Avatar
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    Si. My Dad told me before he died that telling me he had cancer was the hardest thing he ever had to do.

    Chemo starts right after any operation often. Maybe he just wanted to get Christmas out of the way? I can tell you for a fact that often someone with Cancer just doesn't want a lot of fuss and people being sad round them.

    Even if he was fit and well with the Cancer the Chemo is going to make him feel bloody awful.

    Forgive him and let him know you love him.
    Yes I should have taken the Blue Pill!

    We were so busy congratulating ourself of dodging Orwells vision we marched right into Huxley's.

  3. #3
    People deal with things in different ways which is their choice. He may have chosen not to worry you for as long as possible?
    Rubbish news though whenever you find out. My mate is currently going through the same with Non-hodgkins lymphoma. He knows where I am if he needs me, but has chosen to deal with it quietly himself. I hope it all works out well for you. You may feel angry, but imagine how he feels?
    Life is frustrating at the best of times eh?
    MS

  4. #4
    I'm not angry with him, I just feel frustrated that people knew but didn't let on.... Me and Dad were always really close, we told each other everything (and I mean everything) until he re-married and moved to Cyprus. He's back in Britain now but i don't see much of him these days.
    "It's halfway down the hill, directly below that tree next to a rock that looks like a bell-end"

    Good deals with ~ deako ~ sakowsm ~ dryan ~ 2734neil ~ mo ~ riggers ~ mmbeatle ~ seanct ~ an du ru fox

  5. #5
    SD Regular NorthDorset's Avatar
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    As I and my Dad were. Just makes it harder to tell and harder to take.

    Bless you mate. It is a crap time of year to be worrying about things like this.
    Yes I should have taken the Blue Pill!

    We were so busy congratulating ourself of dodging Orwells vision we marched right into Huxley's.

  6. #6
    Si, cancer is such a frightening word for all involved, in reality these days there's so much that can be done. My dad had throat cancer and kept that from us all (except my mum) until he had it operated on. He made a full recovery. I know it's not good news & at a bad time but fingers crossed for you and your dad. If you need anything remember I'm just down the road, don't hesitate to get in touch
    Wingy

  7. #7
    Thanks ND for the kind words... and thanks Martin, I'm sure he'll be fine he's a tough old bugger (73)

    I want to go and see him but I'm full of a cold


    I don't mean I'm too Ill to go see him, I mean I don't want to give him my cold.
    Last edited by Si; 20-12-2013 at 15:31.
    "It's halfway down the hill, directly below that tree next to a rock that looks like a bell-end"

    Good deals with ~ deako ~ sakowsm ~ dryan ~ 2734neil ~ mo ~ riggers ~ mmbeatle ~ seanct ~ an du ru fox

  8. #8
    You did the right thing mate venting off your frustration on here...

    Like a lot of proud older men id like to think he was not wishing to worry you along with the emotional face to face.

    My father is just the same, playing down his stroke..

    Get on that blower, no risk of spreading some germs on that..

    Atb
    Blessed be the sheeple for they shall inherit bugger all...

  9. #9
    SD Regular bobjs's Avatar
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    Very Sad news Si.

    I lost my old man back in 94,

    he kept telling me it was just a sore shoulder,a few months past and then came the news and that came from a fishing buddy of his not a member of my family.(who all knew about it)


    let it out mate or go out in the garden and give something hell. I feel for you bud,

    thoughts are with you

    bob.
    WARNING: LUPUS IS A KILLER, lets support them in the need to find out what it is, what causes it and how do we defeat it. Donating to LUPUS UK | LUPUS UK

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  10. #10
    My mum was diagnosed with cancer in early May this year. She told my sister, who told me. I was as close to my mum as anyone could possibly be. In her eyes I could do no wrong, much to the annoyance of my sister!!!

    She was given two months to live and died on the 3rd of July as no treatment was suitable for her to prolong things which she and the family knew about. Between finding out and her passing away, she and I never spoke about it once, and she simply refused to show me any emotion probably for fear of upsetting me, and I'm the strong one when it comes to this sort of thing!!! We just carried on as though nothing was around the corner.

    Delighted to to hear that your father is suitable for treatment, look at it that way....

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