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Thread: Condoms.

  1. #1

    Condoms.

    I was in Boots yesterday and bought a pack of three condoms and upon closer inspection they had a "use by" date of December 2016 and i immediately thought to myself.. Jeeze the pressure is ON!

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by RED-DOT View Post
    I was in Boots yesterday and bought a pack of three condoms and upon closer inspection they had a "use by" date of December 2016 and i immediately thought to myself.. Jeeze the pressure is ON!
    I remember my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.


    I went in to buy a packet of condoms in the village Boots.
    There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.


    She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."


    So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the shop to see if it was empty.
    It was.


    "Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.


    Taking my hand, she led me into the store room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
    "Do these excite you?" she asked.


    Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.


    As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk.
    "Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."


    So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I couldn't hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.


    She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that condom on?" she asked.


    I said, "of course I did." and held up my thumb to show her.


    She fainted.

  3. #3
    Ha ha Gelert made me laugh

  4. #4

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by gelert View Post
    I remember my first time with a condom, I must have been 16.


    I went in to buy a packet of condoms in the village Boots.
    There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.


    She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."


    So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the shop to see if it was empty.
    It was.


    "Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.


    Taking my hand, she led me into the store room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
    "Do these excite you?" she asked.


    Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.


    As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk.
    "Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."


    So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I couldn't hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.


    She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that condom on?" she asked.


    I said, "of course I did." and held up my thumb to show her.


    She fainted.

  7. #7

  8. #8
    Superb that's why I've got four kids

  9. #9
    Brilliant mate. I remember asking for my first pack, I asked for a pack of skins in which the assistant passed me over a pack of rizlers papers and I just took them to embarrassed to say no. We used them as water balloons when I was a young one.

  10. #10
    SD Regular NorthDorset's Avatar
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    Condoms.

    There was a girl, Julie, that had always been a bit of a bitch to me at school. Bit of an Ice Queen but too cool for school. I suppose we were about 16 and I found she had a Saturday job in Boots.

    It had recently become public knowledge that I was an item with one of her friends.

    I wandered up to the counter when only she was there to serve me and asked for a packet of condoms. She went red and stammered. "Which ones?"

    "I don't know Julie. Which ones would you recommend?"

    She nearly died. Paybacks a bitch.
    Last edited by NorthDorset; 25-08-2014 at 07:46.
    Yes I should have taken the Blue Pill!

    We were so busy congratulating ourself of dodging Orwells vision we marched right into Huxley's.

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