I'm looking forward to "Brexitgate" (The Untold Story) with Jeremy Clarkson as Nigel Farrage, Michael Caine as Jeremy Corbyn, Helena Bonham-Carter as Theresa May and Ray Winston The Speaker of the Commons.
Haven't made my mind up who to cast as Jacob Rees-Mogg and Jean-Claude Juncker but it will come to me I'm sure!
Sounds's like a friend's smallholding. Last year he had a new shotgun to show me (sect 1 semi auto). And we spent the afternoon shooting up a ford fiesta before the scrap man took it. Very red neck!
But the house at the end of his track is a prat with a big house and picture postcard expectations. As you can imagine, there are regular clashes!
I did a similar thing with an old laptop. I got hacked off with all its problems so ordered a new one from a little independent computer shop and took the old one out into the garden and drilled it with the .222.
When the shop rang to say the new one was ready they said, bring the old one and we'll transfer your data. I said errr, it's a bit damaged. That's ok they said, we only need the hard drive.
I took it in and two speccy, pasty white, nerdy indoor computer geeks behind the counter who were probably vegans looked at this thing full of holes and said what the hell happened to this?
I said, um, I sort of shot it.. They looked at me aghast like I'd killed someone's grandmother and I thought they were going to call the police.
I called in the other day to enquire about another computer and they still look at me like I'm a lunatic.
Favourite TV detective is Columbo. It's dated and completely formulaic but the way Peter Faulk plays the character is brilliant. He's like a deferential circling shark. You know the villain has no chance