Check this - I think it's pretty accurate.

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Well-Known Member
School 1960 vs. School 2007

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.
2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged
with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video
shown on 6 internet sites.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1960 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a
disability. Drops out of school.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him the slipper.
1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers
being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.

Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school .
1960 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area.

2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English.
1960 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.
2007 - Mohammed's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for
graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from
core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
1960 - Ants die.
2007 - MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with perpetrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the
home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1960 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.
Becomes gay.


Totally true and totally brilliant. Loved the shopping scam to.

paul k

Well-Known Member
Sadly this has more than the ring of truth to it despite being very amusing.

When I was in school in the 1960s I committed a "crime" that today may well have seen me put in therapy after the Tactical Firearms Response Unit/Bomb Squad had dealt with me.

In those days we had blackboards and chalk. I used the point of a pair of compasses to bore a hole in both ends of several pieces of chalk. I then filled the holes with slivers of Swan Vesta matches carefully shaved off a matchstick. They were tamped down and covered with chalk dust and replaced on the blackboard.

It was Latin - a much hated lesson taken by Taffy Phillips, the actually well liked Deputy Headmaster (no I won't say Headteacher). He started to write on the board but the chalk wouldn't work and I thought my scheme had been blown at the starting line but fair play to the man he persevered and picked up another piece. This also did not write well and he pressed harder. After a few minutes there was a sort of crackling noise and he held the chalk at arms length and watched as a curl of smoke rose from the tip. His jaw then dropped as a jet of flame shot about 4" into the air and the top of the chalk disintegrated. Brilliant - far better than I could have hoped for!!

He knew who had done it because after five minutes I was the only one still rolling about on the floor with tears running down my face. My punishment? A chat with him afterwards about never ever doing anything like that again, two days detention and 100 lines and all said with a smile on his face.

When my younger brother went to the school some ten years later he was called over by the said Taffy and asked if he was related to me. Having confessed the relationship he was advised to be very careful about any ideas of repeating some of my exploits and in particular never to be caught in the vicinty of any chalk in a classroom that he was in!

I saw this guy in the street about five years after he retired, he was noted for having very poor eyesight by then and seemed to be about to walk straight past me there being no flicker of recognition from him. As he drew level, in a flash his arm shot out and punched me in the stomach and in that magical Welsh lilt said "King, I told you I'd get you one day!" Great guy - couldn't happen now.


Actually on a similar topic, when i was at school many years ago and messing about the teacher smacked one of those yard long wooden rulers on the desk. It hit the desk but also my finger and cut it. What would happen to him these days.


Well-Known Member
i think johnny had the raw end of the deal
as for mary WICKED she sounds like my old french teacher . was she blonde and had a moustashe like my teacher :evil:
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