End of the world


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My niece wanted a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to a pet shop and they cost £70! I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web


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Farmer is in the pub one evening and is telling his mate what a terrible day he's had. His favourite cow fell down a hole and he had to shoot it.

His mate says 'Did you shoot it in the hole?'

Farmer looks at him confused and says 'No. I shot it in the head.'



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Young farmer at the village dance is dancing away with an attractive farmers daughter.
He asks, "Can i smell your fanny?"
"Certainly not" she replies.
"Oh well, it must be your feet then".
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