Happy New Year, hope everyone has nice plans. If the wind drops I’ll go lamping. Life has changed a lot in the 23 years to this day since I was statutory raped by a gorgeous older lady (sweet 16) at a wild house party after my pal and I sneaked into the pub aged 15 and got swept up in the revelry. The same house party (that we crashed) someone had found the host’s mother’s purple dildo in her bedside drawers and was using it to mix people’s drinks. Good times, my first and last wild New Year’s Eve.