Is it unreasonable . . .

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Woodsmoke

Woodsmoke

Well-Known Member
for me to be quite annoyed at a relative (brother-in-law) who comes to stay and does sweet Fanny Adams to help out while he's here?

Wife's brother and his two kids spent a few days with us recently, and while the kids were absolutely fantastic helping out around the place (not that it was expected, but as we have a smallholding with horses, goats, sheep, and hens, any extra help to take the pressure off is always really appreciated) himself did absolutely bugger-all but sit on his arse and mess about on his bloody phone. I'm working from home so still had a days work to fit in, as well as deal with cooking the extra meals along with all our usual tasks, and I was left with the very real feeling that I was having the proverbial taken out of me. He spent all of his first day f*cking about fitting upgrades to his new motor, leaving my workshop in a right state, but what really set me off was how his 14 year old lad, and 10 year old lass were the first ones to offer help as I was rolling a 5' hay bale to the horses, and watched as he walked past as if we didn't exist. I was quietly seething, and it didn't help that my dear wife mentioned earlier that she was quite upset that I appeared to make it clear he'd outstayed his welcome. I'll be the first one to admit that my attitude towards someone reflects how I regard them, but I can't help feeling I've had the crappy end of this particular stick. Thoughts? :-|
 
S

StephenToast

Well-Known Member
I would be the same as you in the circumstances described. I never got on with my wife's family so if it had been my brother in law I'd have probably not bitten my lip, especially the head in the phone thing. I find that rude. I'd have likely said if you're bored here. **** off home and stop eating my ****ing food you ****ing ****. Now get off your ****ing phone, pull your ****ing finger out of your arse and milk my ****ing goats so I can make us a ****ing latte.

Prick.
 
A

alberta boy

Well-Known Member
Justified . I have a brother in law along similiar lines . I haven't seen him in about 15 years . I think it might have something to do with the fact that last time I saw him , I offered to pull start his head for him . The wife was on side , so it all worked out . It's unfortunate that you're niece and nephews are saddled with an , ahem , less than desirable father . Next time , invite the kids , not the oxygen thief ............. I have been told that I'm a bit blunt sometimes , so take it for what it's worth lol .

AB
 
A

alberta boy

Well-Known Member
StephenToast said:
I would be the same as you in the circumstances described. I never got on with my wife's family so if it had been my brother in law I'd have probably not bitten my lip, especially the head in the phone thing. I find that rude. I'd have likely said if you're bored here. **** off home and stop eating my ****ing food you ****ing ****. Now get off your ****ing phone, pull your ****ing finger out of your arse and milk my ****ing goats so I can make us a ****ing latte.

Prick.
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I'm on side , except the Latte . I draw the line at Latte .

AB
 
Pedro

Pedro

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Nice smallholding, horses, goats, sheep, hens. I bet his thoughts were that this is a free holiday. I can do sweet FA all day and get waited on hand and foot while the kids can sod off out of his hair and mess about outside.

I guess I might have held my thoughts in, for the sake of his kids, but possibly not.
 
LeftHandGuy

LeftHandGuy

Well-Known Member
On the face of it, sounds like he’s a bit of a k-nob. Is he usually like that though? Maybe he’s “going through something”? If he’s a Herrick vet’ maybe he had a good reason to be stuck in his phone all weekend? Marriage going through a rough patch?

TBH if it were me and I was “going through something” I would positively want to do a bit of agricultural labouring. Preferably more physical and less mental.

But I am assuming that you would already have cut him a break if there were any extenuating circumstances, and that he’s just an idle bugger. In which case, no, it’s not unreasonable to be annoyed with him.
 
Stalker1962

Stalker1962

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Woodsmoke said:
Wife's brother and his two kids spent a few days with us recently, and while the kids were absolutely fantastic helping out around the place (not that it was expected)...
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"Defence rests, your Honour".



Families.

It is your own fault for being so accommodating.

Not only do my "family" not know where I live, they do not know if I am alive or dead.

The result of which means they never bother me, never let me down and never impose on my incredible good nature.
 
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Musketeer

Musketeer

Well-Known Member
Good on you for having the children and letting them get involved.

I would have been annoyed by their father though, but then I am glad when day visitors leave.
 
Ooops

Ooops

Well-Known Member
Woodsmoke said:
it didn't help that my dear wife mentioned earlier that she was quite upset that I appeared to make it clear he'd outstayed his welcome.
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alberta boy said:
.... Next time , invite the kids , not the oxygen thief
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Mike L said:
Grin and bear it for wifeys sake, let the kids have fun, they are stuck with him full time.
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The above quotes say it all.
Your wife's a goodun so you already know, that for the most part, you have to suck it up for her sake.

Perhaps invite just the kids, during a school holiday, "for a working holiday", to give their parents a "break" that way you get the best of both world's. I used to stay at my Aunties every year for the duration of bailing, some times with a friend or two. When I started it took two of us small lads to drag a bail and three to stack it above head height :rofl: Some of the best memories I have come from those times

If it was me I'd have a word with him on his own.
You best sit for this next bit ......
take him away where the women can't hear and apologise to him .....
(now calm down and let me finish) ....
Some thing along the lines of

"Sorry if I seemed a bit off last time you visited, I had a lot going on"
moral high ground achieved, wife can't fault you
BIL feeling vindicated, puffs up, perhaps even makes a provocative statement which you ignore

"I couldn't help but notice that you didn't seem very interested in being here, did the wife twist your arm for the visit?
I get it, this life style isn't for every one. Next time why not send the kids to us, it'll be an adventure for them and you and the wife can go and spoil yourselves some where nice."

"The thing is you've seen that we don't have a spare moment to ourselves, poor [insert your wife's name] is run off her feet and whilst we love having you come and stay it does add to her work load.

Please don't get me wrong, we love having you but if you could pitch in while you're here it would be really appreciated. The kids were brilliant they really made a difference and I was glad to have their help. So anything that you could do to help out while you visit would really be appreciated."

You'll have gone above and beyond to put things right & solve an issue.
Just a thought but either way before his next visit make sure the rules of engagement are clear.
A bit of frank talking is a lot easier dealt with than a rift in the family
Here endeth the lesson
 
GnZ

GnZ

Well-Known Member
What was the context of his stay. If you invited him for a holiday then I guess he did nothing wrong. If he asked to stay for some reason then his behaviour was poor.
 
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