Stupid people

rem284

Well-Known Member
Doing a fencing job, a woman has put prawns shells etc in a bin next to where I am working. A 3 weekly collection so the smell is horrendous. I quizzed her about and she said "oh I just didn't think"

Years ago I cut branches of some trees and a fella was tasked with painting the stumps. He loaded his brush, went up the tree and came back to the paint tin to reload. I said "why don't you take the tin up with you". He came out with " i didn't think"

Going to get logs for someone. He's driving and pulls up about 15m from the timber. So i said "you will be better parking next to the sticks" to which he replied "aye but we can just roll the logs across". So I said what's the point of doing that. He then said "do you think it will be better parking next to the heap then". YEP

So last night my girlfriend and I was discussing the above and even more examples and we thought maybe these people didn't have the game where you have different shaped items that you have to place into the different shaped holes when they were children
 

bluesako

Well-Known Member
like the guy i helped to split some logs, he asked if he could borrow my maul to do some logs, his was loose, i told him to fetch them round we can do them here at my house, ok said he put kettle on, so the guy came around and started trying to split logs with my maul, 40 minutes and a bucket of sweat later while having a brew, i said you know i can get my log splitter out it would be easier, the look i got off him was to kill i said you was with me when i bought it?. bs
 

Morkai

Well-Known Member
A mate of mine has a girlfriend that comes out with some cracking ones.

She was trying to think of the name of a film she liked so she said "you know, its the one where two men are havin dinner outside near a beach in the beginning"........she was talking about Jurassic Park, dont bother mentioning the dinosaurs hahahaha.
 

Drum123

Well-Known Member
Someone who i used to be close to,until we got divorced, upon moving into a new house asked if we should throw the coal out that was in the bunker.I asked why,her answer made me realise id married badly.She said that it might have been there a while , that we'd be better off buying some new coal.
 

Firefly

Well-Known Member
Chap opposite me bought a Porsche and keeps it on his drive, never goes anywhere and one day battery was flat. So I was out washing my car and he tells me ‘Porsche battery flat’ later I see him with some jump leads, he stands there for 10 mins looking at the jump leads all confused.

Eventually he comes over and asks if I have a set of jump leads he can borrow as his were faulty and seemed to have ‘ 2 red ends‘ ! so I lend him some and off he goes. I keep watching and he spends another 20 minutes looking and fiddling with my leads. There is no car or battery within 30 yards, Lord knows what he thought he was going to jump off. Eventually I tire of watching and later that day see an AA van there and my jump leads returned ! He only had to ask !

This the same guy that planted 20 fir trees in his front garden and filled and carried 80 watering cans round to water them in despite stepping over the garden hose laying on the lawn each time :rofl:.
 

rem284

Well-Known Member
I've thought of a stalking one. A guy who has been stalking for decades asked if I would come out on one of his permissions. I said aye sure. So I was to do the shooting and he was there as spectator. Parked up and he said "we will walk along this way, then up the edge of the wood, most of the deer come into the field". So I said "the wind will be right up our @rse". To which he replied " will that matter".
 

Free range rob

Well-Known Member
Oh don’t, I seem to employ most of these people, I once started to wonder if it was me as it happened so much I figured it must be normal.
 

Danny Fireblade

Well-Known Member
I was watching the film "Close encounters of the third kind" with my wife's best friend, who is also my mates wife, as during the part when the aliens have landed and are interacting with the humans she turns to me and says "Is this based on a true story"?
Another time I was stood out the front of the house on a summer evening with my mother in law when she said to me "the moon is very red this evening", which I replied "No Liz, that is the sun"
 

enfieldspares

Well-Known Member
Hah! Called at a farm shop in Norfolk last year and told my Nigerian wife (who isn't stupid BTW) that the small green berries in a punnet next to the bananas were fine sweet grapes. And she should try one. I and the lady and gentleman behind the counter all managed to keep a straight face. Unlike my wife who's face was soon contorted in suffering and torment. As surprisingly they don't grow gooseberries in West Africa and all the time fifteen years plus we were both in France I never saw any.
 

Fadcode

Well-Known Member
Its a bit like those Charity adverts where the young girl has to carry the water in the 5 gallon plastic container, after walking for hours to the waterhole, do you think one day she will turn to her parents and say "Mummy , Daddy, why don't we just move to where the water is, my feet are killing me"
 
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