If I can just get my defence in early doors. This was not my choice.
Today was a planned 'cull' day, on our wee shoot - the forecast looked shocking, but it is better than staying in a nice warm bed. Apparently.
My hand is forced in any event. I am due at the farm to feed the birds, and so the option of simply rolling over and hitting 'snooze' is simply not on.
At 0400 hours, the frost on the 110 is impressive. For those who know about 110s - on a trip to Scotland, if you put the heaters on full blast at the M25 they normally kick in at Cumbria. Utter shite. Consequently I am sitting on the driveway for the thick end of twenty minutes, trying to get the truck 'road legal'.
Much exhaling of my hot (and I suspect rancid) breath, a full aerosol of deicer, and I gingerly creep out onto the highways and byways.
I still spend the first mile or so sitting forward in the seat, squinting through the massive cataract, because that helps. Not.
Anyhoo.
I make it to the farm, and by 0500 I am settled into the biggest 'shooting seat' in the SE. It is a tree-house and bigger than my home.
The TI picks up some heat sources, which whilst initially confusing me, local knowledge allows me to work out that it is a horse in a winter blanket.
He looks warmer than I feel...
It starts to get light by about 0630...
It feels colder. My wife has packed my a sandwich. First time in my life I have had picked fing onions for breakfast! I did mention rancid breath!
By about 0830 I call it, and descend to make my rounds. As I get to the first field, there is a big Roe Doe. I make good ground and get onto her.
However, the backstop is a public footpath, and notwithstanding the early hour and the freezing temperature, common sense prevails and I stand down.
I stalked out to the feeders. Chasing a group of three Roe, but never quite getting on to them. They always just disappear into the the next field and around the next corner. I am trying to multitask and I am no good at it. I check the feeders on this side of the Shoot.
I then make the schoolboy mistake of walking back to the truck. Had I stalked back to the truck, I would not have 'bumped' those three deer now settled in the middle of a field and with a suitable backstop. Utter schoolboy.
Three others of our wee syndicate put in a 'late' appearance. Two blank but one (thank God for him) takes two.
Having failed at adding anything to the cull, I load up the farm Jimny with the last of my wheat and prepare to 'spin feed'.
Only it won't spin will it...
A quick examination of the connector tells me all I need to know.
Hard to believe, but I am actually a qualified electrical engineer (I know!), and that is what we professionals call "Fcuked".
I let the Farmer know (and that I am now using the last of the wheat). I spend the next two hours driving the Jimmy around the Estate, throwing handfuls of wheat out of the ruddy window. Things the Guns will never see and never understand...
PS
I had loaded the rifle with some home-loaded 80gr Fox Classics with N555 @ 42.8gr - which I have (obviously) zeroed, but not yet used on deer.
Due to my incompetence this morning, that wee ballistic report will have to wait for another day.
Today was a planned 'cull' day, on our wee shoot - the forecast looked shocking, but it is better than staying in a nice warm bed. Apparently.
My hand is forced in any event. I am due at the farm to feed the birds, and so the option of simply rolling over and hitting 'snooze' is simply not on.
At 0400 hours, the frost on the 110 is impressive. For those who know about 110s - on a trip to Scotland, if you put the heaters on full blast at the M25 they normally kick in at Cumbria. Utter shite. Consequently I am sitting on the driveway for the thick end of twenty minutes, trying to get the truck 'road legal'.
Much exhaling of my hot (and I suspect rancid) breath, a full aerosol of deicer, and I gingerly creep out onto the highways and byways.
I still spend the first mile or so sitting forward in the seat, squinting through the massive cataract, because that helps. Not.
Anyhoo.
I make it to the farm, and by 0500 I am settled into the biggest 'shooting seat' in the SE. It is a tree-house and bigger than my home.
The TI picks up some heat sources, which whilst initially confusing me, local knowledge allows me to work out that it is a horse in a winter blanket.
He looks warmer than I feel...
It starts to get light by about 0630...
It feels colder. My wife has packed my a sandwich. First time in my life I have had picked fing onions for breakfast! I did mention rancid breath!
By about 0830 I call it, and descend to make my rounds. As I get to the first field, there is a big Roe Doe. I make good ground and get onto her.
However, the backstop is a public footpath, and notwithstanding the early hour and the freezing temperature, common sense prevails and I stand down.
I stalked out to the feeders. Chasing a group of three Roe, but never quite getting on to them. They always just disappear into the the next field and around the next corner. I am trying to multitask and I am no good at it. I check the feeders on this side of the Shoot.
I then make the schoolboy mistake of walking back to the truck. Had I stalked back to the truck, I would not have 'bumped' those three deer now settled in the middle of a field and with a suitable backstop. Utter schoolboy.
Three others of our wee syndicate put in a 'late' appearance. Two blank but one (thank God for him) takes two.
Having failed at adding anything to the cull, I load up the farm Jimny with the last of my wheat and prepare to 'spin feed'.
Only it won't spin will it...
A quick examination of the connector tells me all I need to know.
Hard to believe, but I am actually a qualified electrical engineer (I know!), and that is what we professionals call "Fcuked".
I let the Farmer know (and that I am now using the last of the wheat). I spend the next two hours driving the Jimmy around the Estate, throwing handfuls of wheat out of the ruddy window. Things the Guns will never see and never understand...
PS
I had loaded the rifle with some home-loaded 80gr Fox Classics with N555 @ 42.8gr - which I have (obviously) zeroed, but not yet used on deer.
Due to my incompetence this morning, that wee ballistic report will have to wait for another day.
