Anyone planned their own Memorial Service?

Cootmeurer

Well-Known Member
I just recently attended a service with my brother (one of his close neighbors) and had a significant part in planning for two of my grandparents. All were cremated and a memorial service was held several months later.

I very much like the delayed memorial as this doesn’t force people to drop everything to come see a poorly taxidermied body. I also like that it allows a bit of time to assuage the grief and allow a more balanced view of the persons life. Further, it allows family some private time before or after to intimately involve themselves in the process (brothers and I dug the grave for grandparents urns). That is something we all used to do for family, but now hire out to the undertaker.

Other than that, I have already informed my children of the 3 items I want covered. First, military honors (at least flag presentation, don’t necessarily need the 21 guns), the Hymn Amazing Grace, and a meal of fellowship. Other than that, they can preach a sermon or dance the Macarena, as I wont be present and don’t care.
 

CarlW

Well-Known Member
My wife passed five weeks ago, she had a terminal illness and she was well aware of how it would end, unfortunatley it?
came sooner than either of us expected.
When she was given the diagnosis she planned her memorial service writing everything down so that there would be no
doubt of her wishes.
I carried out her wishes to the best of my ability though some changes had to be made due to Covid restrictions.
A simple but beautiful Humanist service.
I do envy those of you with faith it must be a great comfort.
I am so sorry, Boggy. That is terrible. I will think of and pray for you often.
Keep strong, my friend.
Carl
 

willie_gunn

Well-Known Member
My wife passed five weeks ago, she had a terminal illness and she was well aware of how it would end, unfortunatley it?
came sooner than either of us expected.
When she was given the diagnosis she planned her memorial service writing everything down so that there would be no
doubt of her wishes.
I carried out her wishes to the best of my ability though some changes had to be made due to Covid restrictions.
A simple but beautiful Humanist service.
I do envy those of you with faith it must be a great comfort.

My sincere and deepest condolences.
 

opticron1

Well-Known Member
My wife passed five weeks ago, she had a terminal illness and she was well aware of how it would end, unfortunatley it?
came sooner than either of us expected.
When she was given the diagnosis she planned her memorial service writing everything down so that there would be no
doubt of her wishes.
I carried out her wishes to the best of my ability though some changes had to be made due to Covid restrictions.
A simple but beautiful Humanist service.
I do envy those of you with faith it must be a great comfort.
Sorry for your loss Bogtrotter, a terrible loss for you and it seems a lot sooner than expected from previous messages on the forum. I hope you are left with some fine and happy memories in spite of all the pain.
 

AN DU RU FOX

Well-Known Member
Hi,
It’s alright leaving wills and instructions, but the person charged with carrying them out might change their mind and do something different, and, if like me you have children and Stepchildren it’s even more complicated.
Husband and wife can both make wills, but these can be changed without the other knowing.
We looked into this and setting up a fund and putting all assets except cash into it that would need managing probably by a Solicitor (So always costing) might be the way to go.

As for me, I’m off to Manchester.....if the wifey sends me, which she is against!

Shooting/Military buddy of mine bought the farm last week.....Monday will see Humanist service in private Chapel, leave him there (Hopefully they’ll make sure he gets to Crem. on time) and retire to his home towns’
Unionist Club where he left £££££ behind the bar for mates to toast him.
Cheers,Ken.View attachment 178215
worked in there a few times ,often have a look through the freezers and ponder on the bones ,ps not just human mostly animal birds etc.
 

kes

Well-Known Member
A very sad reminder of our frailty above - I hope things get so much better for you soon.

I tend to think about quantum theory when someone or something dies. The theory suggests there are two paths created when an event happens one is very sad, the other is a move to another parallel world where life continues. That's why I am hoping to have my dogs back when my split path emerges. I dont have a faith as such but I feel there must be something which continues.
As its stands, I have made no arrangements but hope my epitaph would be like my fathers. People simply said, "he was a good man".
Memories are enough and cannot be insisted upon. - I do however need a plan for the cremation - I might get BASC on that - I'm sure they would willingly oblige.
 

The fourth Horseman

Well-Known Member
My wife passed five weeks ago, she had a terminal illness and she was well aware of how it would end, unfortunatley it?
came sooner than either of us expected.
When she was given the diagnosis she planned her memorial service writing everything down so that there would be no
doubt of her wishes.
I carried out her wishes to the best of my ability though some changes had to be made due to Covid restrictions.
A simple but beautiful Humanist service.
I do envy those of you with faith it must be a great comfort.
So sorry to hear of your loss, my first wife died a few weeks ago also, and although we were divorced it hit me hard as she didn't deserve to suffer. To make it worse I was not allowed to attend the funeral.
I feel for you and hope you gain comfort from having had many years together. Faith is indeed an enviable trait and I will pray that maybe you will obtain it yourself. Stay strong and enjoy memories.
 

rem284

Well-Known Member
I would like to have my body dumped on the hill for eagles, other birds and animals to feed on. However I dont think that would be possible. So it's medical research, if I get a suitable bit of land before I pass, buried there or the crem. On my memorial stone I want my name, job title and the quote " Away to the hill". No commercial flowers etc, just stuff from hedgerow, woods or garden.
 

Husky

Well-Known Member
I looked into the legality of a " sky burial " and technically it is not illegal, however you would need permission from the Land owner and to be somewhere fairly remote !
 

8x57

Distinguished Member
hope my epitaph would be like my fathers. People simply said, "he was a good man".
Kes I think that would be the best epitaph or "He did no one any harm".

My father and I shared a standing joke about attending a funeral and the only good thing that the padre could come up with when describing the deceased was "Boy could he whistle". I fear that I may have to settle for that.
 

plonker

Well-Known Member
They can take any part of me that is of use to someone else, burn the rest and then scatter me in river/field or woodland.
Worm food 😁
 

Pedro

Well-Known Member
Very sorry for your loss Bogtrotter.

As for me, they can do what they like with me once I've gone. As in life, so it is in death. I won't be there, so if they want a church service with all the trimmings or a quick burn and bury, then crack on! It's supposed to be about the deceased but really it's about those left. So no big elaborate plans from me and ideally all my financial matters will be all squared away. If people want to remember me with fondness, that'll be nice, but again, before many generations have passed you will be reduced to simply an entry on someone's family tree.

 

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