Five loaves and two fishes...just.

Two nights booked in at a fly fishing venue.

Nothing grand but just nice to be out in the fresh air.

Arriving mid-morning I am in no rush to kit up. My mate on the other hand is already there and is casting away like a good 'un. Wandering over, I relish the sight of the water, the blue sky and the wildlife that is abundant in the area.

I stand chatting until it is time for lunch - two hours have just flown by - my rods are still in the car. I really must try harder at being a fisherman.

After lunch I try hard at being a fisherman, It does not come naturally to me. My casting line looks like I am entering a Rodeo competition for the elderly. It is not a pretty sight.
I experiment with different flies. Small dark ones. Furry yellow ones. Big ones that look like they have fallen off a Christmas tree. None of them work.

One of my fellow fisherman asks, the inevitable question about which fly I am using. This week, thanks to SD, I learned the name of the fly that is made of Jay's wings.

"Colonel Downman's fancy". I lied. "It's the one made from the blue feathers from a Jay", I helpfully add.

"Very nice. Hope the Jay was shot under the very strict conditions of the General Licence". 'Not you as well' I thought.

At close of play for the day, my back ached, my shoulder hurt and I was without fish. Damn silly sport anyway.

Supper was a venison "Cottage Pie" that my wife had made. Then the joy of sitting around a fire pit, drinking G&Ts with friends.

The next day was more of the same. A beautiful day with a random hail storm in the afternoon thrown in for good measure. It only lasted about fifteen minutes and did not spoil the day.

What did spoil the day were the fish. Utterly uninterested in anything I had in my comprehensive fly collection. I once again failed to catch anything. This failure was exacerbated by the fact that early in the day I had a fish "on" and rather that play it properly, I turned around to my wife and my friend's wife to tell them I was "on" - seeking adulation and confirmation of my fishing skills. In so doing, I lost (what turned out to be) the only knock I had in three days of fishing.

My mate had managed a fish on the first day, and he was again successful on the second day. So thanks to him, and no thanks to me, we had two trout for that evening's supper. I checked our food bag - it contained five rolls. Matthew 14:13-21 sprang to mind. With some potatoes and hedge broccoli, the two fishes and five loaves; we managed to drink our way through another glorious evening at the fire pit.

On the last morning, my wife asked me to "instruct" her in casting. She had done so before and is better than me, but she thinks she has forgotten how. See image (iv) below for how that panned out.

Long short.

She will be returning to the venue to get some proper instruction from those qualified to do so. Someone hopefully less "shouty" than me...


One of the lads who helps to run the place came over.

"Hi S62, where is your massive landing net?"

I explain the the mice have been at it. He tells me (I did not know) that he is also a pest controller.

Whilst I am loading the car to leave, I am handed a bag. It contains six mouse traps.

The trip has not been a total loss.

No Oncorhynchus mykiss for me, but now my attention has moved onto Mus musculus.

Mus musculus
is of course Latin for shooting bag/fishing net eating bastards...
 

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unless you have a ticket you shouldnt have that much mouse poison. id remove the photo, wanted to pm you but cant
 
I’m going back soon to demonstrate even a pussy from Canterbury can lift an 8 pounder from an East Sussex water just so long as one has no desire to die before they get old:
26C156AC-E8CE-4F20-BCE6-EF0B7E2977FD.webpK
 
Thank you sir. Always good to hear of another flyfisherman blanking, after only three days, and how reassuring to learn that the good lady, after some expert tuition, has exceeded even the master, a marriage surely made in heaven (apart from the shouty bits). I once took the current Mrs FB flyfishing and handed her the rod when I hooked the only fish of a long midge-infested evening, just to let her play it to the net and so that she too could marvel at nature‘s wondrous bounty which would be cooked to absolute perfection over the barbie.
Big mistake - grand fun when it came towards her but her innovative way of dealing with it when it decided to head for the middle of the lake was to scream loudly and throw drop the rod. I really liked that rod and do miss it. Old Oliver Kite must be spinning (see what I did there?) in his grave.
🦊🦊
 
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A G+T (especially from that blue bottle) around a firepit is the perfect accompaniment to trout, no trout, venison, no venison, or indeed, any food or no food whatsoever.

As long as the company is decent.

Or even awake.
 
I have never done fishing, would be happy to give it a go just so I can sit outside with the fire pit and the g&t later.
I think you are right in this.

Why else would a man (insert preferred pronoun here) stand on the banks of a river, in all weathers, flogging the water with a fly he does not know the name of?

I think he same of stalking - especially when you are at it in winter for a week at a time. Howling winds, waterlogged ground, clearfell, the long lung-busting drag.

Here is why.


The post-deployment G&T (Single malt) log fire debrief with friends?
 
It must be a theme with us stalking types, not all granted but some nonetheless.

A good friend invited me to try fly fishing in the Welsh Dee, after a few tips on flies and casting on water rather than my lawn we headed off.

Within minutes I had landed a beautiful Grayling, this is it thinks I, I am a fisherman!

I spent a beautiful afternoon casting away to no avail, only to wind in my line to find my fly long gone….
 
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