Looking out for your mates, signs of depression/PTSD?

[JMikeyH]

Without getting too bogged down in the details a friend of mine was asleep as a passenger of a car which struck a pedestrian at 70mph in a suspected suicide and as such the dear friend of mine ended up with a torso, head and entrails coming through the windshield, ending up on him and the legs later being found further up the road. Had he not been reclined he very well may not be with us today and escaped with minor injuries despite being covered in gore. At face value he seems quite composed though with the recency of the event the gravity of what he experienced may not have set in. What signs are there to look out for? Lots of ex-services, police, military, medics etc on here that have experience with this sort of thing, I'd appreciate some pointers.

The driver is mentally in pieces, in case anyone might be wondering

Cheers

 

[Woodsmoke]

He's bound to be affected in some way, but he may well process it and move on without any major ill-effects. Watch out for any subtle changes in his personality that don't improve though . . . introspection, self-blame, guilt, etc. Chances are he may well be fine, but you're a good mate to be thinking of this. Traumatic events affect everyone differently, and being affected is in no way a weakness of any sort. Some people feel differently though, and may try to gloss over things, but after-effects can and do manifest themselves in behavioural changes at some point. It can be difficult to process stuff like this, but encouraging him to open up if he feels like talking will go a long way to helping. Just my experience, and I hope he deals with it with no problems at all!

 

[JMikeyH]

Thanks @Woodsmoke, he is made of stern stuff but he won't have experienced this before. I'm concerned that he feels he'll have some sort of face to maintain because he is, for lack of a better description, a macho man. I also don't want to be looking so hard that when we're at the pub or out stalking or what have you that he feels like I am studying him

 

[Morkai]

Maybe he is fine, not everyone crumbles with traumatic events despite the current glut of mental health promotion would have you believe.

Like you said you dont want to study him, just ask him if youre not sure.

 

[baguio]

You could look into doing a Mental Health First Aid course? Your company may need volunteers to do the course as it's a big thing these days. You sound like a good person to do the course IMO. Not everyone is, obviously. There is very likely to be stuff on YouTube too.

 

[JK89]

Look out for changes in his behaviour, if you know him well you'll see signs. Kudos to you for looking out for him. Let him know that you're there if he wants to talk but as others have said, he may process it and be fine so don't push it.

 

[User00025]

It's an extremely difficult one to offer any advice on as we all process death and destruction of the body in different ways. As Woodsmoke says, it will affect him in someway but not necessarily too bad a way as he was asleep at the time so no blame can be attached. Obviously it was a huge shock to wake up to and a mess of blood and parts will leave a lasting shock. Is it affecting his sleep pattern? Sometimes that can be a sign of things becoming a problem. I know it was personally for me on seeing a dead child with awful injuries whereas I had got used to seeing the same in adults. Just keep an eye on him for the time being for any unusual traits.

 

[Rob1562]

Just keep an eye out for obvious changes in his normal behaviour.....might not be the obvious stuff like mood swings ,etc but could be much more subtle.
There is much less stigma attached to seeking help these days and there are many professionals and charities able to offer help/counselling.
My missus got thrown down the stairs twice at a domestic breaking her leg in the bargain. She had (understandable) hostility towards her partner who stood by and did nothing whilst she got assaulted. Through the Police Federation she got some professional counselling which did the trick.
My advice would be, carry on being the good friend you obviously are and i'm sure if your friend needs help he'll talk to you first.
Regards, Rob.

 

[Woodsmoke]

Thanks @Woodsmoke, he is made of stern stuff but he won't have experienced this before. I'm concerned that he feels he'll have some sort of face to maintain because he is, for lack of a better description, a macho man.

Yep, seen it before. Doesn't matter how tough you are, your brain processes things how it sees fit, regardless of how you think it should. If needs be, just let him know that the US Delta guys have their own shrinks to properly deal with issues before they start becoming an issue? If it's good enough for SF . . . . . ?

 

[308tikka]

Increase in drinking, changes in wanting to be alone/cant stand being alone, listlessness, insomnia, and irrational outbursts of temper. Everyone is different though.

 

[norcan]

Yep, seen it before. Doesn't matter how tough you are, your brain processes things how it sees fit, regardless of how you think it should. If needs be, just let him know that the US Delta guys have their own shrinks to properly deal with issues before they start becoming an issue? If it's good enough for SF . . . . . ?

One of the very few SF it seems...

 

[Woodsmoke]

One of the very few SF it seems...

I know the B20 guys and a couple of others saw GC Turnbull following their release after capture. He was the RAF Group Captain psychiatrist who spoke to those who attended Lockerbie . . . . .

 

[Dogtra UK]

Hi,
as ex police and ex emergency ambulance I’d say this video is one of the most powerful tools I have used to stay free of PTSD.
If I attended an incident that bothered me I looked for the “Please don’t kill me” moment.
I have trained with Andrew and he knows his stuff.

 

[Dave Lakes]

Maybe he is fine, not everyone crumbles with traumatic events despite the current glut of mental health promotion would have you believe.

Like you said you dont want to study him, just ask him if youre not sure.

I don’t think having a few issues after being woken up with a human head in your lap is necessarily “crumbling”.

JMikeyH keep in mind a problem could come to the fore years down the line, when this is all forgotten, so just keep a rough eye out. Hopefully he’ll be completely fine, but you’re a good friend for even considering this.

 

[Morkai]

I don’t think having a few issues after being woken up with a human head in your lap is necessarily “crumbling”.

JMikeyH keep in mind a problem could come to the fore years down the line, when this is all forgotten, so just keep a rough eye out. Hopefully he’ll be completely fine, but you’re a good friend for even considering this.

That isnt what I said.

 

[Dave Lakes]

That isnt what I said.

Fair enough, apologies if I misread your post.

 

[JMikeyH]

Thank you all. Just been round to see him and nothing jumping out at me, said he slept fine. I'll keep an eye out for the things lifted above and thanks for the video @Tumble Annealing, I'll pass the video on to him

 

[Fair Hill]

Maybe he is fine, not everyone crumbles with traumatic events despite the current glut of mental health promotion would have you believe.

Like you said you dont want to study him, just ask him if youre not sure.

What you said is very true, what happened sounds like a scene from a horror movie but some people can handle horrific stuff better than others.

Many people have survived road traffic accidents that they lost loved ones in and might have had to witness them passing away while waiting for emergency services, I'd imagine that would be a worse experience. Sometimes horrific experiences strengthen people.

 

[bobthedug]

Having witnessed sudden death in all its forms, the incident you described is indeed horrific.
As already mentioned, folk are different and there is no set formula or process for your mate to follow.
The one lasting memory for me was from Lockerbie having been sent down as a young cop and helping retrieve some of the victims. For years I didn't really dwell on it and back then, counselling was not readily available anyway. Every now and again when it's one of those nights when sleep is not forthcoming, I still think of some of the poor sods who were on the plane.
What did help back then, and now, is what your friend has, a mate who is there for them should they need them. It might be simply to take him for for a curry and beer and have a blether.
Keep in touch with him and let him know that you are there for him.

 

[Foxyboy43]

Hmmm. Long before counselling was ever available or possibly even thought of my good pal had just arrived home from the station a few minutes after finishing a shift as a part-time policeman when he got a call to say come back in asap. His Inspector had been the victim of a booby-trap and had been killed. He never talked about it but many years later after his own death I was helping clear his house and we found poems which he had written - one of which was called “Why I don’t like Fridays”. That was the day his Inspector was killed and please forgive me if I cause offence but his poem contained the line “and so it was that we picked up pieces of ********** with sharpened sticks”. What he must have gone through in the intervening years is unimaginable, I know that it affected him very badly, indeed even recalling reading the poem some 6 years later is very unsettling.
I do hope your pal endures and safely comes through what must have been a quite dreadful experience.