Am I in deep doodoo or wot?

[Foxyboy43]

Soooo said beloved daughter, looking me in the eye as only a child can do, can you keep Molly (her dog) next weekend, please? Sure thing, darling I said for are you not my only daughter, the fruit of my loins and dearer to me than anything? (well, maybe not Malt Whiskey, or Rioja, or Guinness but certainly a close fourth-ish). Simultaneously I made a mental note to not be seen, dead or otherwise, by anyone I know with said pooch, for pooch it is, in fact the wee bast it is a walking grooming parlour and what little street cred I have left would be nuked if any of my hairy-arsed dear pals saw me with her. Of course and not for the first time, when said weekend arrived so did Molly, and only seconds after daughter had left, Mrs FB fixed looked me in the eye and announced that this little mutt princess was my responsibility and mine alone. What luck!

yes my friends, this was the M word, in all her pampered glory.
Well, the weekend just flew, honest! Then, not having crossed the door since the M word arrived, and on her very last day, sadly only with us, I made the fatal (near-fatal, for me - do read on chaps) mistake of being ordered offering to take my elderly lab and the little darling for a walk in our local park. Despite all my forebodings she skipped perfectly alongside my (balaclava-clad, never know who you might meet) manly figure to the point that I actually let her off her pink, diamante (yes-honest) lead and off she trotted alongside the old girl. What fun! Or it was until the old girl remembered the glar-hole, for those of you who are not familiar with this word think - liquid mud.
The result of course was inevitable:-


Needless to say just as I dragged the wee bast arrived home so did my darling daughter, along with her adoring husband and two kids. Words fail but do try to imagine chaps how well the afternoon went. Bless!

 

[willie_gunn]

Soooo said beloved daughter, looking me in the eye as only a child can do, can you keep Molly (her dog) next weekend, please? Sure thing, darling I said for are you not my only daughter, the fruit of my loins and dearer to me than anything? (well, maybe not Malt Whiskey, or Rioja, or Guinness but certainly a close fourth-ish). Simultaneously I made a mental note to not be seen, dead or otherwise, by anyone I know with said pooch, for pooch it is, in fact the wee bast it is a walking grooming parlour and what little street cred I have left would be nuked if any of my hairy-arsed dear pals saw me with her. Of course and not for the first time, when said weekend arrived so did Molly, and only seconds after daughter had left, Mrs FB fixed looked me in the eye and announced that this little mutt princess was my responsibility and mine alone. What luck!
View attachment 216033
yes my friends, this was the M word, in all her pampered glory.
Well, the weekend just flew, honest! Then, not having crossed the door since the M word arrived, and on her very last day, sadly only with us, I made the fatal (near-fatal, for me - do read on chaps) mistake of being ordered offering to take my elderly lab and the little darling for a walk in our local park. Despite all my forebodings she skipped perfectly alongside my (balaclava-clad, never know who you might meet) manly figure to the point that I actually let her off her pink, diamante (yes-honest) lead and off she trotted alongside the old girl. What fun! Or it was until the old girl remembered the glar-hole, for those of you who are not familiar with this word think - liquid mud.
The result of course was inevitable:-
View attachment 216034

Needless to say just as I dragged the wee bast arrived home so did my darling daughter, along with her adoring husband and two kids. Words fail but do try to imagine chaps how well the afternoon went. Bless!

The look on Molly's face in that second photo is priceless.......you need to run a caption competition

 

[kes]

" I'll get you back seems to fit !

 

[Klenchblaize]

Second picture looks like smile to me.

K

 

[long_range_rob]

Any dog covered in mud is happy.

 

[Oxon Stuart]

Thank you Foxyboy43; today has been particularly trying, and reading that has lifted my spirits no end, though I’m sorry for the predicament you now find yourself in.

 

[Sampo]

What does your x-ray and CT scan say? I am sure there's still hope to recover.

 

[Foxyboy43]

It's all right for you lot - currently in polytunnel trying to decide which "bed" I am to have tonite! Anyone up for a late nite chat chaps?? Hello, hello.......

 

[Foxyboy43]

Thank you Foxyboy43; today has been particularly trying, and reading that has lifted my spirits no end, though I’m sorry for the predicament you now find yourself in.

Glad I helped someone my friend. All things must pass, who knows the family may even speak to me, one day.........

 

[Fosbery Holster]

Caption……..for fcuk sake Foxyboy we’re both in the sh1t now but who’s deeper in it …..what did l hear you say…..don’t make waves…….

 

[User00036]

From Madame Foo Foo, to Grendle the Gremlin, I applaud you. Good work!

 

[Foxyboy43]

What does your x-ray and CT scan say? I am sure there's still hope to recover.

I hope to post both quite soon or at least as soon as Mrs FB unlocks the straps on that nice new jacket with the really long sleeves and the shiny buckles at the back. Bit of a strange cove in the cell, sorry bed, next to me. Smells of mud, or maybe it's just me??
Still mustn't grumble....
Nurse!!!!!

 

[Foxyboy43]

The look on Molly's face in that second photo is priceless.......you need to run a caption competition

The reaction of daughter and family obviated the need to run a caption competition my friend. I think the lexicon of abuse was drained, unlike Molly. Still, could have been worse - I keep seeing Leonardo DiCaprio in the Titanic film slipping deeper into (mud-filled) oblivion.............. and me standing, dogless, in front of daughter and distraught family mumbling something like "Oh well, daughter of mine, at least I managed to save the lead......".

 

[finnbear270]

MAAAAAAMM!!!!!!

 

[landkeeper]

Well look on the plus side , i doubt you will be ever asked to look after it again

 

[PMA]

Good on you foxy !!

 

[ben0850]

Priceless surely that’s what grandparents are for.. let them off the leash and fill em full of E numbers or in your case FB mud

 

[kimh]

luv it...

 

[alberta boy]

You can groom them , give them precious fluffy hair doos , give them names so sweet that it would gag a rat , but they're still dogs , and dogs love to roll in sh!t . It seems to be quite therapeutic , look at Fluffies , sorry , Mollies face , that's a content animal . I may go out and find some fresh Moose nuggets and try it myself .......... it might even get rid of the old man smell in my truck ....... I still haven't figured out where that's coming from .

AB

 

[Siggy]

Second picture looks like smile to me.

K

Definitely a smile, your just holding the dog upside down