Foxyboy43
Well-Known Member
So the love of Mrs FB’s life is now 13, deaf as a post and racked with arthritis. Despite many visits to the vets, numerous unctions, lotions and potions, and considerable separation of money from FB plc, the poor old girl (for clarity - not Mrs FB) can barely make it outside for a pee, preferring to spend the autumn of her days sleeping in the warmth of the conservatory, interrupted only by my snoring the stagger to her food bowl and return (pause for collective SD types “aaaaahhh”). Loved to bits and the star of sooo many happy memories.
Only recently however Mrs FB has been giving me strange looks as itemsshe thinks she had put on the kitchen worktop had disappeared or even worse been moved by me without permission - as if! After the Spanish Inquisition II some genteel badinage NI’s answer to Inspector Clouseau (moi?) determined that there was a definite pattern in the disappearances - food! Now, strictly in confidence chaps, I have succumbed to the odd passing morsel, obviously out of reach sight of Mrs FB for I am no fool but even I draw the line at stale bread and bird food fat balls, well fat balls don’t half stick to your teeth. So the reluctant conclusion was that the old girl (Mrs FB this time) was finally losing it and joining me in that geriatric twilight so common among SD types, bless. So that was it or so we thought.
Then only last night in a rare quiet moment in Chez FB, herself heard a strange noise in the kitchen, upon investigation she found not a trace of anything - including a slice of stale bread she had definitely left out forme the birds only 5 minutes before. Oddly this coincided with the old lady standing in the conservatory wearing a very guilty satisfied expression. Hmmm. Quick family argument confab ensued, orders issued decision reached and action plan hatched. Trap (dog treat) required, promptly set on worktop and surveillance camera rigged. Then settle in for the night…..
Your author’s legendary skill honed to razor’s edge over manyfrustrating and thoroughly empty snares, cages and traps years paid dividends however in very short order. A certain dark-haired old girl was indeed caught in the act, suddenly lithe of limb, faltering back legs miraculously full strength and even at full stretch, the old rascal was caught stone cold doing the dirty deed - guilty as charged m’lud.
Mrs FB didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, she was delighted to know that she hadn’t been doting, was not joining me in the funny farm just yet but utterly incredulous that the old girl could even reach up to the worktop. Ever optimistic I reminded her of the many times over the years that I had been accused of doing the same thing when clearly it was thatdamned mutt dog all along. The lord loves a trier…..
Only recently however Mrs FB has been giving me strange looks as items
Then only last night in a rare quiet moment in Chez FB, herself heard a strange noise in the kitchen, upon investigation she found not a trace of anything - including a slice of stale bread she had definitely left out for
Your author’s legendary skill honed to razor’s edge over many
Mrs FB didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, she was delighted to know that she hadn’t been doting, was not joining me in the funny farm just yet but utterly incredulous that the old girl could even reach up to the worktop. Ever optimistic I reminded her of the many times over the years that I had been accused of doing the same thing when clearly it was that
