Looking out for your mates, signs of depression/PTSD?

[Rasputin]

Without getting too bogged down in the details a friend of mine was asleep as a passenger of a car which struck a pedestrian at 70mph in a suspected suicide and as such the dear friend of mine ended up with a torso, head and entrails coming through the windshield, ending up on him and the legs later being found further up the road. Had he not been reclined he very well may not be with us today and escaped with minor injuries despite being covered in gore. At face value he seems quite composed though with the recency of the event the gravity of what he experienced may not have set in. What signs are there to look out for? Lots of ex-services, police, military, medics etc on here that have experience with this sort of thing, I'd appreciate some pointers.

The driver is mentally in pieces, in case anyone might be wondering

Cheers

Absolutely awful for the both of them I can’t offer any words of wisdom but I hope they are not too badly shook up over the long term.

 

[Ade8mm]

It is a common occurrence in Dubai and Qatar,. Usually underpaid Indians and Pakistani labourers who fall foul of gang-masters that recruit them and levy their passport against a so called "debt" to cover the cost of recruitment and leave them trapped with no means whatsoever of escape.
(aka modern slavery - the best reason to boycott the World cup football nonsense - a disgrace)

Faced with misery and no escape , these desperate souls wander onto the highway (8 lanes+) in order to get killed..

I myself have, once, nearly crashed, endangering others in the process, to avoid same.

Shook me up (understatement) , not just due to my swerving to avoid , which was bad enough but also picturing the fellow on his desperate final walk.
I did not look in the rear view mirror as I had no doubt the poor soul would have met his maker soon after courtesy of another hapless motorist somewhere close behind.

(Think of that when you football lovers enjoy the World Cup)

Not wishing to hi-jack the thread,

Advice? ...

The various railway Companies in the UK have well established programmes to deal with this dreadful thing, as "jumping under a train" is another way of taking one's life.
Might be worth exploring that avenue? They will, I am sure, be well equipped with the best possible counselling .


I hope your friend is OK..

 

[JTO]

Any F.A.C. holder should avoid admitting they are depressed.

 

[JMikeyH]

Any F.A.C. holder should avoid admitting they are depressed.

Not strictly true, though no doubt the draconian noose would start to tighten. Nevertheless he is not an FAC holder thanks to TVP having shut down their grant services during the last year and a bit. He shoots with me only

 

[JMikeyH]

It is a common occurrence in Dubai and Qatar,. Usually underpaid Indians and Pakistani labourers who fall foul of gang-masters that recruit them and levy their passport against a so called "debt" to cover the cost of recruitment and leave them trapped with no means whatsoever of escape.
(aka modern slavery - the best reason to boycott the World cup football nonsense - a disgrace)

Faced with misery and no escape , these desperate souls wander onto the highway (8 lanes+) in order to get killed..

I myself have, once, nearly crashed, endangering others in the process, to avoid same.

Shook me up (understatement) , not just due to my swerving to avoid , which was bad enough but also picturing the fellow on his desperate final walk.
I did not look in the rear view mirror as I had no doubt the poor soul would have met his maker soon after courtesy of another hapless motorist somewhere close behind.

(Think of that when you football lovers enjoy the World Cup)

Not wishing to hi-jack the thread,

Advice? ...

The various railway Companies in the UK have well established programmes to deal with this dreadful thing, as "jumping under a train" is another way of taking one's life.
Might be worth exploring that avenue? They will, I am sure, be well equipped with the best possible counselling .


I hope your friend is OK..

Thanks Ade. He seems to be doing alright, certainly a little more subdued than usual but nothing not to be expected

 

[LuckyEddie]

From the experience with my dad, who at he age of 15 was taken as forced labour by the Germans during the war, saw people getting shot, being bombed at night by the Brits and during the day by the Americans.
The only time he talked was with a drink.
I’ve also had friends and and family who‘ve had serious issues.
What seemed to work is either a pint or two (literally) in a quiet pub somewhere neutral or a lunch, somewhere the person can relax seems to help them open up.
Doesn’t always work first time but usually the second things start to play out.
Most important is that they feel safe and can relax knowing there is someone who’ll listen but not necessarily give advice

 

[Stalker62]

Any F.A.C. holder should avoid admitting they are depressed.

Why?

If the only reason to avoid admitting you are depressed is to hold on to your FAC, who benefits?

Deny you are depressed and harm your long-term health?
Deny you are depressed and (potentially) become a danger to others?

And before anyone jumps down my throat - I know that loss of a FAC can lead to loss of employent. So what?

If you are depressed (and who the hell never feels depressed?) then how are you going receive help if you do not declare it?

Life is more than owning a shotgun. More than owing a rifle. So much more.

I recall a member of here talking about CPTSD. He had a plan. He had a plan to continue to enjoy the countryside without a shotgun and without a rifle.

He had a plan.

Have a plan.

 

[nun_hunter]

Thanks @Woodsmoke, he is made of stern stuff but he won't have experienced this before. I'm concerned that he feels he'll have some sort of face to maintain because he is, for lack of a better description, a macho man. I also don't want to be looking so hard that when we're at the pub or out stalking or what have you that he feels like I am studying him

I'd say ask him about it and get him talking. Talking and verbalising what you've been through is one of the best ways of getting it straight in your own head because you have to in order to tell someone.

It can be a fine line between repeatedly asking him and drawing it out of him if he's reluctant (thinks talking or showing emotion "isn't for men") and badgering him so he shuts down. You sound like a decent mate to be worried so I'm sure you'll be able to judge this pretty well.

 

[LuckyEddie]

Any F.A.C. holder should avoid admitting they are depressed.

During my prolonged bout of illness I had to renew my certs.
I admitted to my GP that I had suffered an episode of depression had been given tablets and come out of the condition in decent form.
He made his notes and sent off the letter.
I received my certs with no hassle.

 

[Freeforester]

Any F.A.C. holder should avoid admitting they are depressed.

I‘ve heard of one or two who have ‘played the PTSD system’ to their advantage, and had their (temporarily suspended) FAC’s returned thereafter.
Ker-ching.

 

[willowbank]

I too suffered a long illness during which I underwent some draconian treatment, it was harsh and they freely said I was a kill or cure guinea pig. Although I survived the illness I was left completely wrecked.

Moving on 15yrs and I’m told my leg has to come off, I won’t go into detail but my youngish GP has been a star and given complete support throughout, even getting me a Camo socket and encouraging me just after the amputation to get in the gym and shape up for the coming first day Out on the Pheasants,

I had just under 4 months (from knife to field ) but I did it, some blood, a lot of sweat and one or two tears.

To get to the point yes there were times when I was depressed, sometimes lasting a few days, caused by setbacks such as blistering, which put me back into a wheelchair, frustration at having to wait for an appointment to have a leg refit etc
My GP monitored my mood, giving the odd verbal slap when needed and I came through ok.

My lifestyle has been so drastically altered as I am completely unable to eat or drink in the normal way (though the occasional Single Malt slides down ) so our social life took an enormous hit, my wife bless her has been my rock, my friend and nurse I consider myself a very lucky man.

Also I’d like to mention the good friends, met through SD (you know who you are) and friends are very important when feeling down, a friend will always make time, long may we stalk together chaps

Willowbank

 

[Farmer_J]

Any F.A.C. holder should avoid admitting they are depressed.

If ever I saw something written on the internet that I knew was not true, the above post would be it.
And if I was to offer advice, do not pay heed to such comments.

To the OP, that sounds a truly awful experience.
I went through an incident where I watched a young man take his final breaths after a terrible accident. During his last seconds in this world his eyes tore into my soul, as if they were his only way of begging for him to not be taken.

I went through the what ifs, the maybes, the could I of done anything differently. I went through anger, upset and full circle again.

I talked a little and listened a lot, and in my own time came to terms with it. Its been over a decade and I can honestly say it does not have an impact on my life any more. Other than to be over cautious in some scenarios.

Let him lead the way, if you notice anything unusual then be the one to initiate a conversation about it, as I can guarantee there will be little to no others that may do so.

It sounds as though he’s got a good mate to keep an eye out for him, that alone is priceless.
Plenty of good advice in this thread and I don’t think you can go too wrong going by it.