Why do women do this?
- Thread starter FrenchieBoy
- Start date
bottletopbill
Well-Known Member
FrenchieBoy
Don't drink yes as i stated things are tough for both of you at this time.
You need each other like a pair of bookends I can understand as life is not all honey and sweetness .
Like you my life as had ups and downs but hey ho, fight back
I went from being a Batchelor at 26yrs to being a widower at nearly 28 with a 4 month old baby on that day and two other step children .
I had to come home and tell a six and eight year old there mum had died.
Later on got remarried fostered 46 kids and adopted a special needs child from birth.
Then second wife caught Covid and was taken by Ambulance on blue light Thought not again with two kids
She pulled through but as some problems and besides me.
So fight back and get better mate .
Bill
Don't drink yes as i stated things are tough for both of you at this time.
You need each other like a pair of bookends I can understand as life is not all honey and sweetness .
Like you my life as had ups and downs but hey ho, fight back
I went from being a Batchelor at 26yrs to being a widower at nearly 28 with a 4 month old baby on that day and two other step children .
I had to come home and tell a six and eight year old there mum had died.
Later on got remarried fostered 46 kids and adopted a special needs child from birth.
Then second wife caught Covid and was taken by Ambulance on blue light Thought not again with two kids
She pulled through but as some problems and besides me.
So fight back and get better mate .
Bill
bottletopbill
Well-Known Member
Just trying to let FrenchieBoy know he is not alone and we are all behind him. 
Stalker62
Well-Known Member
@bottletopbill
If that is true, that is staggering.
I am hard pressed to thing of anything less selfish, than to foster a child.
I speak as something of an expert - I am perhaps the most selfish of men, and so know something about it.
You and your partner will have done immeasurable good to those 46 (+1) lives - I need to pop out to the porch, so I can put a hat on, just so that I can raise it to you.
bottletopbill
Well-Known Member
The kids were all great if you knew how some get treated you would cry like a baby.
Some of there lives they were treated worst than a wild animal by there parents and other's.
Thought I grew up street wise .
These kids went through hell to just survive from new born's to teenagers they are the heroes'
To turn there lives around and do there best.
Some of there lives they were treated worst than a wild animal by there parents and other's.
Thought I grew up street wise .
These kids went through hell to just survive from new born's to teenagers they are the heroes'
To turn there lives around and do there best.
Stalker62
Well-Known Member
I have some small experience of dealing with child abuse - but to adopt/foster is a whole new level of caring.
I was always (and remain) in awe, of those who do so.
Nimrod1960
Well-Known Member
FrenchieBoy, hang on in there chap, all of SD are behind you and Mrs FB.
Sending prayers and positivity in your direction.
Darkest hour is before dawn, better news will come.
Sending prayers and positivity in your direction.
Darkest hour is before dawn, better news will come.
Foxyboy43
Well-Known Member
You sir are a gentleman and a scholar.
Thank you for what you have done - reading your initial post has sent my crusty old spirits soaring!
bottletopbill
Well-Known Member
Folks than you for the kind comments but I was trying to show FrenchieBoy we all have hard times and come through it as the foster kids did.
The Guy and is wife are having a bad time with health problems and sounds so down and I felt i needed to show he is not alone.
The Guy and is wife are having a bad time with health problems and sounds so down and I felt i needed to show he is not alone.
FrenchieBoy
Well-Known Member
This thread might be a long one so if you get bored then please skip it and accept my apologies for my "rambling"!
OK, This last few days have been pure hell! Yes I very seriously thought about giving up completely, and I came very close to it the night before last. However I do not want this to look like I am wallowing in self pity! Thanks to Marlene we are both going to fight through these terrible times regardless - And we are going to do this TOGETHER!. Marlene and I spent nearly 4 hours in total throughout yesterday talking to each other on the phone - Thank heavens I changed my PAYG bundle to one which allows this without breaking the bank!
Things are becoming much clearer now! Marlene has told me that I do not need to continue beating myself up as she is confident that it was not me that passed Covid on to her. It has now transpired (From what Marlene has said) that there were 2 nurses that had a "hacking cough" on the ward some 4 or 5 days prior to me and Marlene going down with Covid yet they continued to work on the ward unchecked - There are now a few more patients on the ward that have gone down with Covid! You work that out for yourselves!
Marlene has at last had the results back confirming that she has tested positive for Covid - And it only took THREE DAYS for the hospital to work that one out! One nurse asked Marlene if she thought it was me who passed it on to her to which Marlene replied "Definitely Not, You need to start looking much closer to home to find the answer to that!" - Fair play to her for that! Marlene is now isolated and only sees a nurse when she has to have her "vitals" checked or when the doctor comes round. Anyhow Marlene is now in complete isolation so the only contact that she has with the outside world is via her mobile phone!
Marlene explained that when she said that she did not want me to visit her again she meant to say was "while both she and I had Covid", it just came out wrong as she was very ill, confused and extremely upset! Marlene is now coping with the situation while I call her every few hours so that she has someone to talk to.
As for me - Well I am trying to keep myself going, I eat when I feel like it - Which is sometimes just once a day but we all know the saying "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink", but having said that I am trying to take on as many fluids as possible!
I'm feeling a little ashamed with myself as the home is in a bit of a state as I haven't been up to doing any hoovering, polishing or dusting for the last week, which makes me feel quite "grotty"!
The only time I can go out of the house is to exercise Harley, which I do in the back garden - Fortunatel my Sister In Law only lives about a mile away and she has offered to get any shopping I need for me!
Now Harley is something else! One of my good friends and neighbors took Harley in while I was in hospital. He bought Harley back yesterday morning as he thought I would benefit from having to worry about caring for the dog immediately after coming out of hospital. Harley is a right "Nanny Dog" - I don't know if it is because he saw me collapse before the ambulance came but he will not leave my side now - Even if I am resting in my arm chair he will sit by the side and constantly stare up at me or just nudge my hand to see that I am OK and to let me know that he is there. Even if I get up to make a brew immediately I get up he gets up and "escourts" me to the kitchen and then watches every move I make - I have never had a dog that has done that before. He really is like a little 4 legged nurse maid as the attached photo shows which I took a few minutes before starting this post!!
In reply to Ken's post (#111) Yes it was very selfish of me to think the way that I was thinking, I realize that now but that is how my feeble little human brain can act sometimes!
A couple of the ladies from the church I am with have offered to make a few meals and bring them round for my but I have politely declined their offer as I am fiercely independent and want to retain a little of my independence - Maybe a little stupid on my part but unfortunately that is the way that I am!
I watched a program on ITV Hub last night which really brought things home to me called "Paul O'Grady's Little Heroes" - What some of the children on there had gone through makes what Marlene and I are going through look like a walk in the park, and not one of them complained about their situation so watching that program was possibly one of the best things I could have done to give me a good kick up the back side!
As for all of you guys - I honestly have prayed that God will bless each and every one of you for your support and friendship through everything you do!
Anyhow, now it is time for Harley to have another short walk and then for me to get some more liquids inside me.
I will finish with a Heart Felt Thank you to all of you!
Harley being my Nurse Maid, and he is like this all day long:
OK, This last few days have been pure hell! Yes I very seriously thought about giving up completely, and I came very close to it the night before last. However I do not want this to look like I am wallowing in self pity! Thanks to Marlene we are both going to fight through these terrible times regardless - And we are going to do this TOGETHER!. Marlene and I spent nearly 4 hours in total throughout yesterday talking to each other on the phone - Thank heavens I changed my PAYG bundle to one which allows this without breaking the bank!
Things are becoming much clearer now! Marlene has told me that I do not need to continue beating myself up as she is confident that it was not me that passed Covid on to her. It has now transpired (From what Marlene has said) that there were 2 nurses that had a "hacking cough" on the ward some 4 or 5 days prior to me and Marlene going down with Covid yet they continued to work on the ward unchecked - There are now a few more patients on the ward that have gone down with Covid! You work that out for yourselves!
Marlene has at last had the results back confirming that she has tested positive for Covid - And it only took THREE DAYS for the hospital to work that one out! One nurse asked Marlene if she thought it was me who passed it on to her to which Marlene replied "Definitely Not, You need to start looking much closer to home to find the answer to that!" - Fair play to her for that! Marlene is now isolated and only sees a nurse when she has to have her "vitals" checked or when the doctor comes round. Anyhow Marlene is now in complete isolation so the only contact that she has with the outside world is via her mobile phone!
Marlene explained that when she said that she did not want me to visit her again she meant to say was "while both she and I had Covid", it just came out wrong as she was very ill, confused and extremely upset! Marlene is now coping with the situation while I call her every few hours so that she has someone to talk to.
As for me - Well I am trying to keep myself going, I eat when I feel like it - Which is sometimes just once a day but we all know the saying "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink", but having said that I am trying to take on as many fluids as possible!
I'm feeling a little ashamed with myself as the home is in a bit of a state as I haven't been up to doing any hoovering, polishing or dusting for the last week, which makes me feel quite "grotty"!
The only time I can go out of the house is to exercise Harley, which I do in the back garden - Fortunatel my Sister In Law only lives about a mile away and she has offered to get any shopping I need for me!
Now Harley is something else! One of my good friends and neighbors took Harley in while I was in hospital. He bought Harley back yesterday morning as he thought I would benefit from having to worry about caring for the dog immediately after coming out of hospital. Harley is a right "Nanny Dog" - I don't know if it is because he saw me collapse before the ambulance came but he will not leave my side now - Even if I am resting in my arm chair he will sit by the side and constantly stare up at me or just nudge my hand to see that I am OK and to let me know that he is there. Even if I get up to make a brew immediately I get up he gets up and "escourts" me to the kitchen and then watches every move I make - I have never had a dog that has done that before. He really is like a little 4 legged nurse maid as the attached photo shows which I took a few minutes before starting this post!!
In reply to Ken's post (#111) Yes it was very selfish of me to think the way that I was thinking, I realize that now but that is how my feeble little human brain can act sometimes!
A couple of the ladies from the church I am with have offered to make a few meals and bring them round for my but I have politely declined their offer as I am fiercely independent and want to retain a little of my independence - Maybe a little stupid on my part but unfortunately that is the way that I am!
I watched a program on ITV Hub last night which really brought things home to me called "Paul O'Grady's Little Heroes" - What some of the children on there had gone through makes what Marlene and I are going through look like a walk in the park, and not one of them complained about their situation so watching that program was possibly one of the best things I could have done to give me a good kick up the back side!
As for all of you guys - I honestly have prayed that God will bless each and every one of you for your support and friendship through everything you do!
Anyhow, now it is time for Harley to have another short walk and then for me to get some more liquids inside me.
I will finish with a Heart Felt Thank you to all of you!
Harley being my Nurse Maid, and he is like this all day long:
bottletopbill
Well-Known Member
Good to see you being more positive and good news about the wife all the best mate.
You had me worried a bit
You had me worried a bit
Frenchie ....... thanks for the above post.
I think you are doing ok. That you have come through the angst you felt. I truly hope so.
Forget the housework! If needed, just get a local cleanning Co/person in to give the gaf a thorough "going over" (alas, whilst Harley is an absolute God send, I doubt he'll be any good at all with a duster or
hoover!
Get well, stay strong for Marlene & yourself.
A week or so from now, things's 'ull be a lot better.
Take care & stay in touch here will you!
I think you are doing ok. That you have come through the angst you felt. I truly hope so.
Forget the housework! If needed, just get a local cleanning Co/person in to give the gaf a thorough "going over" (alas, whilst Harley is an absolute God send, I doubt he'll be any good at all with a duster or
hoover!
Get well, stay strong for Marlene & yourself.
A week or so from now, things's 'ull be a lot better.
Take care & stay in touch here will you!
FrenchieBoy
Well-Known Member
Well my friends much has been discussed over the phone between Marlene and Me over the last two days (Many or our numerous phone calls have lasted for well over an hour each time) and Marlene has made a decision that I have to respect no matter if I (Or anyone else) agrees with it or not.
Currently Marlene feels that she is getting nowhere with the doctors and the hospital, all that seems to be happening is that she is sinking deeper and deeper into depression and getting further and further away from her bi-pass operation. When Marlene asks the consultants any questions she seems to be getting no real answers at all. They are still taking blood samples and stool samples (Almost daily) but they are simply not coming up with any answers or results and can not answer the questions that Marlene is putting to them - Well they either can't or will not!
They have cut out all of the medication that is supposed to be "sorting" her stomach problems and all that they will give her now is Gaviscon, something that we could buy over the counter!
She asked this morning what the situation was regarding her operation as 2 weeks ago she was third in the queue waiting to be transferred to Wythenshaw for her bi-pass but the consultant today said that there are now dozen or more waiting ahead of her - You can no doubt imagine how that made her feel, especially as she is isolated and the only contact she has with anyone is when she gets her medication etc or when I phone her.
They are supposed to be checking her "vitals" every 4 hours but she has only had them checked twice all through today!
With that in mind Marlene has made the decision that she is going to discharge herself on Monday morning after she has spoken to the consultant!
I have to say that I fully support her decision, especially when she says that now she feels that if she has to die then she would rather die at home and in my arms than in a hospital bed on her own!
Some of you might well say that is a stupid decision, and to a certain extent I would have to agree with you but if she comes home and she does have another do with her heart then the option to call an ambulance is still there to get her re-admitted. (As yet Marlene has had no more problems with chest pains etc while she has been in hospital)
Some of you might also say that she is not thinking logically as she is so depressed - That may well be the case but I have to try to see things from my wife's point of view and in doing so I really and honestly have no option but to agree with her.
With that in mind it is all down to this week-end to see if she changes her mind, but I very much doubt that will happen as she sounded so much happier after making her decision.
On the plus side both of us seem to be recovering quite well from this wretched Covid!
I honestly do not know what the future holds right now but we are prepared to leave the situation in God's hands and trust Him to do whatever is best for an outcome to this distressing and very worrying situation!
This is now breaking my heart just as much as it is sending Marlene deeper into depression. I am trying my best to be strong for her but believe me it really isn't easy and at this particular moment I have to agree with Marlene's line of thinking!
Please do not come back at me saying that Marlene and I are being stupid making such a decision - It is not my decision to make it is Marlene's decision but I totally respect it and I fully understand what she is saying to me and the way that she is thinking, and to the greatest extent I agree with her!
If I could swap places with Marlene I would in a heart beat without any second thought!
Currently Marlene feels that she is getting nowhere with the doctors and the hospital, all that seems to be happening is that she is sinking deeper and deeper into depression and getting further and further away from her bi-pass operation. When Marlene asks the consultants any questions she seems to be getting no real answers at all. They are still taking blood samples and stool samples (Almost daily) but they are simply not coming up with any answers or results and can not answer the questions that Marlene is putting to them - Well they either can't or will not!
They have cut out all of the medication that is supposed to be "sorting" her stomach problems and all that they will give her now is Gaviscon, something that we could buy over the counter!
She asked this morning what the situation was regarding her operation as 2 weeks ago she was third in the queue waiting to be transferred to Wythenshaw for her bi-pass but the consultant today said that there are now dozen or more waiting ahead of her - You can no doubt imagine how that made her feel, especially as she is isolated and the only contact she has with anyone is when she gets her medication etc or when I phone her.
They are supposed to be checking her "vitals" every 4 hours but she has only had them checked twice all through today!
With that in mind Marlene has made the decision that she is going to discharge herself on Monday morning after she has spoken to the consultant!
I have to say that I fully support her decision, especially when she says that now she feels that if she has to die then she would rather die at home and in my arms than in a hospital bed on her own!
Some of you might well say that is a stupid decision, and to a certain extent I would have to agree with you but if she comes home and she does have another do with her heart then the option to call an ambulance is still there to get her re-admitted. (As yet Marlene has had no more problems with chest pains etc while she has been in hospital)
Some of you might also say that she is not thinking logically as she is so depressed - That may well be the case but I have to try to see things from my wife's point of view and in doing so I really and honestly have no option but to agree with her.
With that in mind it is all down to this week-end to see if she changes her mind, but I very much doubt that will happen as she sounded so much happier after making her decision.
On the plus side both of us seem to be recovering quite well from this wretched Covid!
I honestly do not know what the future holds right now but we are prepared to leave the situation in God's hands and trust Him to do whatever is best for an outcome to this distressing and very worrying situation!
This is now breaking my heart just as much as it is sending Marlene deeper into depression. I am trying my best to be strong for her but believe me it really isn't easy and at this particular moment I have to agree with Marlene's line of thinking!
Please do not come back at me saying that Marlene and I are being stupid making such a decision - It is not my decision to make it is Marlene's decision but I totally respect it and I fully understand what she is saying to me and the way that she is thinking, and to the greatest extent I agree with her!
If I could swap places with Marlene I would in a heart beat without any second thought!
FrenchieBoy
Well-Known Member
Thank you Sir for seeing things with "Neutral Eyes" as a complete outsider.Entirely a private decision and it matters nothing what anyone else thinks.
You do what is best for you two.
I will say though, it is clear that the sooner you two are back together, the better!
ATB.
As I said it is Marlene's decision but I will fully support her whichever way Marlene chooses to go now!
One of the best things about long term relationships is that it is truly wonderful when you both agree on a matter, 55 years of marriage has taught me that, and if you both think that the best thing to do is to be at home together then, that is the way to go, after all hospitals are full of sick people, and one of the best places to catch something, as you have both proved, If you do decide to have Marlene back at home then try and have a word with a understanding Doctor, (if you can find one), and ask for advice regarding any medication, diet etc, and how to keep in touch with the Hospital regarding the bypass, etc
Being together is sometimes the best medicine, and I am sure you are now used to doing the housework, and no doubt will continue to do so, no doubt under the management of SWMBO, who will no doubt look upon you as an apprentice, but will have you competently trained in no time.
As you will look after her, she will look after you
God Bless you both, best wishes as always
Being together is sometimes the best medicine, and I am sure you are now used to doing the housework, and no doubt will continue to do so, no doubt under the management of SWMBO, who will no doubt look upon you as an apprentice, but will have you competently trained in no time.
As you will look after her, she will look after you
God Bless you both, best wishes as always
Foxyboy43
Well-Known Member
I entirely understand where your darling wife is coming from - there is no substitute for loving arms and the warmth of your own home.
Many years ago I went through a similar situation with my widowed father who spent 6 months in the Heart Unit awaiting a bypass and valve replacement before he finally got his surgery. I was very concerned at his decision to have the surgery at 86 years of age and at our meeting with the consultant the 6 months before he finally got his surgery, I aired my concern. Dad’s response was “Son, if it goes well and I get a good year I will be very pleased, if it goes wrong I will see your mother that bit sooner”. How could anyone argue with that logic - expressed so eloquently from a man with more wisdom than I will ever have? Sadly although the operation went very well, MRSA set in and we lost him a week later.
My simple point is Marlene knows what she wants and she knows you. It is her call and I think it is a good one FB. Enjoy fully whatever time you may have together, you both deserve nothing less.
Good luck to you both.
