Advice needed: Ex partner and threats to call the police.

[Foxyboy43]

Hmmm. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned applies doubly when firearms come into the equation.
In my case I cunningly made sure that Mrs FB became as daft about guns as me then bought myself her some of her very own so when if it comes (god forbid) a system of checks and balances will prevail in the FB home. Either that or a full shooting match!
I wish you well, it is a very difficult situation for you.

ps
If any FEOS read this post the bit about a shooting match is what is called “a joke”. For their benefit:-

Definition of JOKE

something said or done to provoke laughter; especially : a brief oral narrative with a climactic humorous twist; the humorous or ridiculous element in something; an instance of jesting : kidding… See the full definition

www.merriam-webster.com

 

[Liveonce]

They need a reason to revoke you and by him removing the guns you have no access to them you just hold a bit of paper thats why he needs a real gun savvy man to help him .
Times have changed since i'v had dealings around this but pre- empting is better than holding tight wishing it would go away.
Could be tol wrong but i'd get my ducks in line before the other side start hip shooting .

They need no reason to revoke.
With your certificates you could go and get your guns your property back from the RFD.
if you have a spare slot on your certificate to acquire a firearm you could go buy it and ammunition.
if you have a shotgun certificate you could go buy 1 or a 100.

If you have sufficient concern that you have concluded you need to put your firearms in to an RFD then what will they be thinking? They will remove all potential risk from the situation, simple.

 

[Dunwaters]

My partner and I have been living together for a number years and as many up and down the country have hit a sour spot in our relationship, we had words the other day and out of the blue she mentioned that if I carry on being difficult she's tell the police as she knows that being a licensed firearms holder they'll have no choice but to confiscate my rifles.

She's since apologised for the outburst but it has got me worrying as I have a clean record and now this is stuck in my head on overdrive.

Has anyone else on here experienced a similar situation and any positive advice you can give would be appreciated.

My advice would be to sit tight and do nothing.
At least for the moment.
If you approach the FEO your guns are gone, if she complains your guns are gone, if you have an acrimonious break up and she says something to a lawyer your guns are gone. Ask your doctor for help and your guns are gone.
You’re stuck in a zero sum game with only one outcome if either your partner or you makes a complaint, or asks for guidance or help to deal with the fallout.
You can’t win, and here “winning“ is defined as simply hanging on to your FAC’s.

 

[Liveonce]

Take her out for a valentines meal and have a heart-to-heart with her, if you love each other then hopefully you can work away forward together.

 

[Crowstalker]

My partner and I have been living together for a number years and as many up and down the country have hit a sour spot in our relationship, we had words the other day and out of the blue she mentioned that if I carry on being difficult she's tell the police as she knows that being a licensed firearms holder they'll have no choice but to confiscate my rifles.

She's since apologised for the outburst but it has got me worrying as I have a clean record and now this is stuck in my head on overdrive.

Has anyone else on here experienced a similar situation and any positive advice you can give would be appreciated.

Depends on how you envisage your relationship and its future. The fact she has mentioned this is a concerning development. If she has done it once what's going to stop her doing it again?

If yous have another argument I would hazard a guess she could use this again.

This may be a form of cohersive control.

Unfortunately for you if she does make a complaint to Police you will get your guns seized and I would be very doubtful you will get them back.

If your done with your relationship I would be seeking as others have said to deposit your guns with a mate or RFD and some form of proof of that. Getting it done before things really go south will be beneficial.

A good solicitor will be a good idea as well.

 

[User00048]

Leave, stop contact, if you value your shooting. Nobody should ever threaten your passion and what you enjoy in life, even once. It can't be taken back and will likely happen again. Its an abusive form of control and is used as corrective behaviour by such people. I've seen this before. For me, I would be gone and running for the hills at the first sight of it. May be upsetting but such is life, we all get upset but we deal and move on and still enjoy life. They see the effect and will do it again because they know. Its hard but is indeed a simple choice, them or shooting because one will go.

 

[Liveonce]

Leave, stop contact, if you value your shooting. Nobody should ever threaten your passion and what you enjoy in life, even once. It can't be taken back and will likely happen again. Its an abusive form of control and is used as corrective behaviour by such people. They see the effect and will do it again because they know. Its hard but is indeed a simple choice, them or shooting because one will go.

is life that simple? does nobody ever say something in a relationship that they later regret and did not really mean?
Time is a healer of relationship ups and downs, if they really want to be together but only they will know that.

 

[VSS]

The thread title says Ex partner, yet according to the first post she's still your partner?
Either way, I'd be inclined to move the firearms to an rfd for safe storage, without her knowledge.
Once they're safely out of the way, you either get to work to mend your broken relationship, or you walk out of it.
As has been pointed out already, even the best of relationships can go through low points, and it's something that needs a bit of work to get through. Hopefully you can do that together.
Ending the relationship will not remove the threat. Ex partners can be vindictive.
You've not got an easy time ahead of you. Best of luck, and I hope it all works out OK.

 

[enfieldspares]

My partner and I have been living together for a number years and as many up and down the country have hit a sour spot in our relationship, we had words the other day and out of the blue she mentioned that if I carry on being difficult she's tell the police as she knows that being a licensed firearms holder they'll have no choice but to confiscate my rifles.

She's since apologised for the outburst but it has got me worrying as I have a clean record and now this is stuck in my head on overdrive.

Has anyone else on here experienced a similar situation and any positive advice you can give would be appreciated.

No. My wide before my previous partner was Antiguan, that previous partner was Jamaican and my now wife is Nigerian. Black women tend not to "sh1t" on their partners. There's a lesson there. But what I'd do, and without her knowledge that you've do so, is remove your firearms to an RFD and then lock their cabinets back up as if they were still in them. That way if there is a 999 call that you have "threatened her with your guns" when the police do arrive you'll have empty cabinets and a dated receipt to prove the 999 call as a lie.

 

[NoIDeer]

out of the blue she mentioned that if I carry on being difficult she's tell the police as she knows that being a licensed firearms holder they'll have no choice but to confiscate my rifles.

I would suggest that if she threatened to tell the police you have had a row you need to sit down and have a proper discussion about your relationship and set some red lines.
If she threatened to tell the police that you threatened her and other lies then some of the advice above might be more appropriate. Social media is not really the place for this btw.

Good luck.

 

[Crowstalker]

is life that simple? does nobody ever say something in a relationship that they later regret and did not really mean?
Time is a healer of relationship ups and downs, if they really want to be together but only they will know that.

Possibly but it's also possible that somebody can be controlling and will use things against you to their advantage.

We don't know either way we are just looking in from the outside.

 

[User00048]

Life is as simple as we make it for ourselves, as life is a mindset.. how we think of it, process, what we believe. We are in control of ourselves and our lives and how we direct them and what we want from it. There are lines that you don't cross, there is self-respect and there should be a mutual respect of "no-go" zones, also known as boundaries. Logic and emotion and finding and having the correct equilibrium of both.
Some things are and end up toxic. There can also be other signs of such that haven't been mentioned. Some people are controlling and abusive in terms of this, to this level and beyond.
It is of course each to our own however 9/10 once this happens once, it keeps happening. Some people can change, others can't but many times it can take years for someone to change.. in terms of personality type if they have these kinds of issues.
If there is a real duty of care for the other person, then there is a level of self-control. Regardless of how upset someone makes you (for whatever reason) that you don't do or say. Names are one thing but certain level of threats..
Like I say, what is valued more.. the shooting or the relationship because ultimately it can come down to that is something that has to be considered at this stage, especially now its happened. By continuing, you accept there is risk to your pride and joy and life choice and way of life and there will always be the thoughts in the back of the head and worries.. ones that never needed to be there.. and trust me.. those thoughts and worries will now stay because of that one act. In some respects it destroys a part of trust.

I don't often comment on these sorts of things but thought I would this time around. This will be my last comment on this particular thread. Its worth sometimes making a clear mind and then thinking logically and not letting emotions overule everything.
Shooting is my entire life. Someone has to accept that then as part of theirs.. just as if a partner has a pride to their life that has been lifelong, I wouldn't change that or ask to change that as its part of them. So a threat to it.. to me.. its simply beyond a no go and a red flag. Be strong.

is life that simple? does nobody ever say something in a relationship that they later regret and did not really mean?
Time is a healer of relationship ups and downs, if they really want to be together but only they will know that.

 

[Tazz]

Sadly in my experience of relationships when something is ‘said” even in the heat of the moment as your partner did it’s already been “thought through “ it’s not rarely spontaneou. There are enough posts on here giving smart advice re storing them elsewher. The real in justice in this is that a Partner/wife can make these allegations completely false in many cases, this then wrecks the shooters life for at least a year and likely longer while they battle to “ prove” themselves innocent, the risk to the spouse? zero it’s now in a few cases becoming a divorce negotiating tactic

 

[VSS]

she mentioned that if I carry on being difficult she's tell the police as she knows that being a licensed firearms holder they'll have no choice but to confiscate my rifles.

There's two sides to every story. Have you considered that she may well have a valid point, and that it is high time you stopped being difficult?

 

[Mickeydredd]

There's two sides to every story. Have you considered that she may well have a valid point, and that it is high time you stopped being difficult?

Even if he is "difficult", using such a vindictive, unlawful threat trumps his "difficultness" by a country mile. The relationship is over after such a threat.

If you have ever lived with a woman who has mental stability issues, then actually there is only one side to a story, at least one truthful side.

 

[tom.h]

There's two sides to every story. Have you considered that she may well have a valid point, and that it is high time you stopped being difficult?

She wasn't threatening... she was just telling him the consequence of his actions lol

 

[Liveonce]

She wasn't threatening... she was just telling him the consequence of his actions lol

and apparently she apologised, if you do put your firearms in to an RFD for a cooling off period do not tell the FEO otherwise you will very likely have to surrender your certificates.

 

[tom.h]

and apparently she apologised, if you do put your firearms in to an RFD for a cooling off period do not tell the FEO otherwise you will very likely have to surrender your certificates.

I agree. Store firearms at RFD but as others have said I would also think seriously about not staying with someone capable of making those type of threats.

 

[reiver]

Sadly it does not work like that, Once you inform the FEO 99.9% certain they will ask you to voluntarily surrender your certificate/s if you refuse it will look bad on you, and then they will revoke them.
Especially now after Plymouth and Surrey, they will not allow for any risk.

When I stored my rifles in the club armoury during my divorce . I notified my Flo and told the m that while they were there in storage I would be still taking a gun out and using them @ the club . Not a problem I was told .

 

[badmolassesaccident]

Your thread title mentions ex-partner. Have you already busted up?