Foxyboy43
Well-Known Member
Wee job, 5 minutes max, no effort required, simple, she said. Wanted the old mirror frame sprayed - to screw brighten up the hall she said, even bought the small tin of wmd paint herself - gold!! Wot fun, thought I, lifting myself effortlessly with a grunt from the comfortable sofa with a grimace welcoming smile.
Sure enough it was dead easy or at least the masking tape and first half of pure artistry with the spray can went really well, until the sodding spray paint stopped leaving a subtle but rather eclectic blend of diagonally divided gold and matt grey frame! Why, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen would be stretched to convince even me that it lookedpassable good. Of course the blessed Mrs Foxyboy was incandescent not terribly impressed as she had been assured by that bast nice man in our local hardware that the smallest spray can I have ever seen would be ample for this simple job.
So what was a man to do, chaps? As anyone else would in such trying circumstances I shook the can vigorously then discovered two things in rapid succession:-
1. the spray cap had stuck down; and
2. the effort I had put into shaking the can worked really, really well.
Unfortunately the combination of these factors and the absence of even a rudimentary safety catch resulted in a sudden fountain of said gold paint - coinciding perfectly with my cleverly looking very closely to see what was causing the cap blockage. This taught me a couple more things:-
1. gold paint sprayed thickly across one spectacle lens, eyebrow and forehead really has nothing to recommend it; and
2. for best results you really should keep the can moving.
Of course Mrs FB helped enormously with a total bout of near hysteria, my - how we laughed!
However, courage mes braves, your hero, looking like an extra-terrestrial from Star Trek (younger readers - ask your grandfather) and as theboll darned can was still fountaining everywhere heroically returned to the chaos job in hand and indeed finished it, to perfection.
So in the spirit of David Cameron andall any other politicians caught trying to make a few dodgy million, “lessons have been learned” - the “5 minute job” turned into just over an hour, most of which was spent trying to get gold paint of your reeking of Eau de White Spirit, but humble scribe.
White Spirit on the face really stings too - you have been warned!
Sure enough it was dead easy or at least the masking tape and first half of pure artistry with the spray can went really well, until the sodding spray paint stopped leaving a subtle but rather eclectic blend of diagonally divided gold and matt grey frame! Why, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen would be stretched to convince even me that it looked
So what was a man to do, chaps? As anyone else would in such trying circumstances I shook the can vigorously then discovered two things in rapid succession:-
1. the spray cap had stuck down; and
2. the effort I had put into shaking the can worked really, really well.
Unfortunately the combination of these factors and the absence of even a rudimentary safety catch resulted in a sudden fountain of said gold paint - coinciding perfectly with my cleverly looking very closely to see what was causing the cap blockage. This taught me a couple more things:-
1. gold paint sprayed thickly across one spectacle lens, eyebrow and forehead really has nothing to recommend it; and
2. for best results you really should keep the can moving.
Of course Mrs FB helped enormously with a total bout of near hysteria, my - how we laughed!
However, courage mes braves, your hero, looking like an extra-terrestrial from Star Trek (younger readers - ask your grandfather) and as the
So in the spirit of David Cameron and
White Spirit on the face really stings too - you have been warned!
