You kinky beasts! It's not that sort of thing at all...but it is I hope of use to some.
In Birmingham yesterday to take the "ex" to visit Winterbourne House and Gardens which is well worth a go. Then off to Ladypool Road to drop in on her friend's Afro-Caribbean hairdressing salon. And finally home...or at least until just about down near the Birmingham City ground in the 5pm rush hour when the rear tyre went "pop".
Ha! No problem. Drive fifty yards to a safe place. That'll soon be changed. Get the spare out which is all well, good and inflated. But even if not I find the footpump I always carry. Get the jack out, the wheel brace out and look for the wheel locking nut.
Except it isn't in the usual place in its yellow bag hanging from the gearstick. Nor in the glovebox. Nor after taking everything out of the car is it under the seats, in the door wells, in the boot, or on the floor.
Either I've put it somewhere out of the car or the garage that last serviced the car haven't put it back. The air is blue by this time. As if I can't unlock the locking nut I can't fit the spare. No problem. I'll nip over the road and get some Tyreweld. That's sort it enough to get home.
Except it doesn't. The damage is such that the foam blows out like Father Christmas's white beard. So by this time it is well after 8pm by the time I call time on that. A call to Mazda Assist gives a quote to come out of £300.
So I make the car secure, take the Sat Nav and other thievables out and leave it and myself and the "ex" go and enjoy a meal at New Street Station and then get the train home.
Next morning get the train to New Street and a coffee on arrival at 8.45am whilst calling a Birmingham Mazda dealer and get quoted (if I get the car to them) £80 to undo the one locking nut on the one wheel to then replace the tyre at again a ridiculous figure.
I also ask how much to replace the other locking nuts with non-locking nuts. That'll be £100 for the three plus one nuts. And they can't do the work today but tomorrow afternoon "if they can fit it in". So call a Birmingham Kwik Fit. They quote £100 to undo the one locking wheel nut. Again if I get the car to them.
Get a taxi from New Street to the car and arrive at a little before 10.00am. Notice a now open (as it is by now after 10.00am) independent tyre fitting garage just a safe distance to get the car from where it is to there. Ask how much to remove the locking nut. £35 plus VAT for all four nuts. Which they haven't got but can get tomorrow. But luckily another independent business a small motor factor is a hundred yards away. And whilst they haven't got the nuts on the shelf they can get them for the afternoon at £14 plus VAT.
So I leave the at thus garage and get the bus into the city centre to await the 'phone call from the motor factor that the nuts have arrived. Which they do at 1.45pm.
So back to the garage via the motor factor...nuts in had...get they change the tyre and whilst at it the three other locking nuts with standard nuts. And all done by 3.00pm and away home
So the point of the tale is twofold.
1) Do regularly check you have your locking nut key in your car and...more to the point in 2024 this...
2) Do you really need locking nuts anyway on your car if factory alloy wheels are now standard on all cars of your make and model unlike back in the day when steel wheels were standard and there was a genuine market for stolen factory alloy wheels? This is after all 2024 not 1964 or 1974 and used alloy wheels on eBay make nothing.
So I hope it helps others avoid the PITA of only finding out that your locking key isn't in your car when you need it and...even if it is do you really need locking nuts on your wheels anyway and finally (although not in my case yesterday) is your spare inflated and if not do you have a pump to inflate it?
Total bill including the replacement tyre, all four locking nuts removed and replaced with standard nuts was £115 plus VAT and by God's Grace all I needed was immediately around and about. Heaven help if it had been on the motorway and the car had needed to be trailered or towed off.
In Birmingham yesterday to take the "ex" to visit Winterbourne House and Gardens which is well worth a go. Then off to Ladypool Road to drop in on her friend's Afro-Caribbean hairdressing salon. And finally home...or at least until just about down near the Birmingham City ground in the 5pm rush hour when the rear tyre went "pop".
Ha! No problem. Drive fifty yards to a safe place. That'll soon be changed. Get the spare out which is all well, good and inflated. But even if not I find the footpump I always carry. Get the jack out, the wheel brace out and look for the wheel locking nut.
Except it isn't in the usual place in its yellow bag hanging from the gearstick. Nor in the glovebox. Nor after taking everything out of the car is it under the seats, in the door wells, in the boot, or on the floor.
Either I've put it somewhere out of the car or the garage that last serviced the car haven't put it back. The air is blue by this time. As if I can't unlock the locking nut I can't fit the spare. No problem. I'll nip over the road and get some Tyreweld. That's sort it enough to get home.
Except it doesn't. The damage is such that the foam blows out like Father Christmas's white beard. So by this time it is well after 8pm by the time I call time on that. A call to Mazda Assist gives a quote to come out of £300.
So I make the car secure, take the Sat Nav and other thievables out and leave it and myself and the "ex" go and enjoy a meal at New Street Station and then get the train home.
Next morning get the train to New Street and a coffee on arrival at 8.45am whilst calling a Birmingham Mazda dealer and get quoted (if I get the car to them) £80 to undo the one locking nut on the one wheel to then replace the tyre at again a ridiculous figure.
I also ask how much to replace the other locking nuts with non-locking nuts. That'll be £100 for the three plus one nuts. And they can't do the work today but tomorrow afternoon "if they can fit it in". So call a Birmingham Kwik Fit. They quote £100 to undo the one locking wheel nut. Again if I get the car to them.
Get a taxi from New Street to the car and arrive at a little before 10.00am. Notice a now open (as it is by now after 10.00am) independent tyre fitting garage just a safe distance to get the car from where it is to there. Ask how much to remove the locking nut. £35 plus VAT for all four nuts. Which they haven't got but can get tomorrow. But luckily another independent business a small motor factor is a hundred yards away. And whilst they haven't got the nuts on the shelf they can get them for the afternoon at £14 plus VAT.
So I leave the at thus garage and get the bus into the city centre to await the 'phone call from the motor factor that the nuts have arrived. Which they do at 1.45pm.
So back to the garage via the motor factor...nuts in had...get they change the tyre and whilst at it the three other locking nuts with standard nuts. And all done by 3.00pm and away home
So the point of the tale is twofold.
1) Do regularly check you have your locking nut key in your car and...more to the point in 2024 this...
2) Do you really need locking nuts anyway on your car if factory alloy wheels are now standard on all cars of your make and model unlike back in the day when steel wheels were standard and there was a genuine market for stolen factory alloy wheels? This is after all 2024 not 1964 or 1974 and used alloy wheels on eBay make nothing.
So I hope it helps others avoid the PITA of only finding out that your locking key isn't in your car when you need it and...even if it is do you really need locking nuts on your wheels anyway and finally (although not in my case yesterday) is your spare inflated and if not do you have a pump to inflate it?
Total bill including the replacement tyre, all four locking nuts removed and replaced with standard nuts was £115 plus VAT and by God's Grace all I needed was immediately around and about. Heaven help if it had been on the motorway and the car had needed to be trailered or towed off.
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