Morning Constitutional?

[Monkey Spanker]

I can't help but notice that every time an essential stalking kit list thread comes up, toilet roll is right up there alongside such items as binos, bolt and ammo!
I suppose for the average recreational stalker who is used to 'dropping the kids off at the pool' around breakfast time before work will inevitably end up with a conflict of interests at a similar time at the weekend whilst out on the ground!
It is also part of my carried kit and takes the form of a small packet of travel tissues in my jacket pocket.
I suspect that I may have been a bear in a previous life though as I find an 'Al Fresco' dump in the woods very liberating! Am I alone in this feeling?

I did get caught out once though as 2 fallow appeared in front of me whilst lightening my load! Thankfully my rifle was just in front of me on the bipod. A hurried 'crimping -off' allowed me to rock forward onto my knees with my shiny grinner pointing skyward (unwiped!)! Both deer noticed me but seemed rather intrigued by the sight before them! I managed to get both of them before rocking backwards once again to complete the paperwork from the first job!

I reckon there is also probably a market for some kind of high seat 'Comode' conversion???!!
MS

 

[Munty Hunter]

Have only been caught taking a pee by a Fox, he took off in a hell of a rush. I was stranded mid stream and unable to cut short so to speak.

 

[Paul at Fechan]

good lad.... thanks for that

twice this year I've cut my boxers off and into strips for essential wipe work, it was at least the same last year. Don't worry, any offending used strips were disposed of in an environmentally responsible manner.

 

[pete evans]

I often have to have a thrupney during a morning stalk. About a year ago I was mentoring a lad and I parked the truck up overlooking several fields to see if there were any roe out that could be stalked. I had to get out to lighten the load. We saw no deer so moved on. Bit later I suggested going back to the bit where we started and have another look, sure enough there was a deer. He got out of the truck and stood straight into my turd. I think he has forgiven me but not sure.

 

[Ade C]

I was training a group of forestry lads on the Arundel estate one time when the old colon got the elbow... i thought i would find a spot and "mark my territory"

having relaxed a little knowing that between me and the maker was a whole load of countryside i settled in to enjoy the veiw. AND what a view! looking north from the south downs has got to be one of the worlds greateast wonders. truely beautiful.

there i was in a state of bliss when out of nowhere came a chinook full of para's rising up and banking towards me. obviously on some sort of training exercise all focused on not falling out and keeping to their drills. i dont know who was more supprised. they were that close i could have shook their hands, the noise was unbelievable. thankfully i was in a balanced stance as the down force nearly put me on my ass!! that could have been real bad.

what larks pip!!

 

[Paul at Fechan]

'did you see any deer'

'no just a couple of turds and a skitter darling'

 

[Munty1]

I always carry an ESK, emergency SxxT kit. I prefer the out doors to some of the facilities I have seen/used. I have done a few things with my pants down, but never shot an animal, well not with a rifle.

 

[Yorkie]

I can't help but notice that every time an essential stalking kit list thread comes up, toilet roll is right up there alongside such items as binos, bolt and ammo!
I suppose for the average recreational stalker who is used to 'dropping the kids off at the pool' around breakfast time before work will inevitably end up with a conflict of interests at a similar time at the weekend whilst out on the ground!
It is also part of my carried kit and takes the form of a small packet of travel tissues in my jacket pocket.
I suspect that I may have been a bear in a previous life though as I find an 'Al Fresco' dump in the woods very liberating! Am I alone in this feeling?

I did get caught out once though as 2 fallow appeared in front of me whilst lightening my load! Thankfully my rifle was just in front of me on the bipod. A hurried 'crimping -off' allowed me to rock forward onto my knees with my shiny grinner pointing skyward (unwiped!)! Both deer noticed me but seemed rather intrigued by the sight before them! I managed to get both of them before rocking backwards once again to complete the paperwork from the first job!

I reckon there is also probably a market for some kind of high seat 'Commode' conversion???!!
MS

Me and the Mrs just belly laughed, nice one .
One of the lads i Stalk with was also a Bear in a former life. He has been known to restrain the Turtles Head whilst in Southwaite Services in order to go Alfresco when we arrive at our Stalking ground. He makes it about 300 yards in a morning before disappearing into the Tree line.
Only advice i can offer is keep your Braces well clear.

Yorkie.

 

[widows son]

Woodland Andrex, good old Sphagnum moss, good enough for wound dressings, good enough for the old cream O'tartar.

 

[DL]

Woodland Andrex, good old Sphagnum moss, good enough for wound dressings, good enough for the old cream O'tartar.

I'm afraid not old chap that's protected.

 

[trouble]

Monkey Spanker , one bad ass deer stalker

 

[widows son]

I'm afraid not old chap that's protected.

Wrong Danny, not for wiping the chocolate whizz way, your not removing it from source or illegally harvesting for any other use .
However if you gain the landowners permission, there not a problem, its still used in hospitals to this day throughout the world.

SNH have a pdf on it, not having a TV will have plenty of time to read it .

 

[DL]

This one.

http://www.snh.org.uk/pdfs/education/sphagnum%20moss.pdf

 

[norma 308]

i generally find an ''alfresco'' evacuation very good luck whilst stalking especially when the deer are couched down ....seems to get em moving very well !
the moss thing i am not sure about unless its quilted but used some after a gralloch the other day and was amazed how clean it got my hands .
regards norma

 

[baguio]

Your good lady must be sooo proud of you MS .
Reminds me of the good ol days before 'shovel reccees' were banned on MOD land and thunder boxes were introduced, never to be emptied! Now there isn't anything much worse than splash back from an over full thunder box I can tell you! And stories about thunder flashes being dropped down the exhaust whilst you're curling one down makes it a less than relaxing experience too!

 

[Rowey]

Careful where you squat at dawn/dusk. Briars, thistles and stingers are no friend of the wilderness dumper !

 

[Seanpaul]

Having taken a shite from height (nice v shaped branch about 15 foot above the ground) and at ground level (a Ray Mears) whilst stalking I can confirm that altitude really makes the whole experience almost too brilliant and I would very much like to purchase a commode high seat.

I don't know what the anti's will find more distressing, the fact that we shoot Bambi or run around the countryside shitting from trees or high seats at the first opportunity.

S

 

[WestCoastStalker]

Managed to shoot 3 hinds one morning with my tea towel holder presented to the elements

Moss is almost unbeatable for getting a shine on your sheriffs badge but from experience, look out for ants

 

[Monkey Spanker]

Having taken a shite from height (nice v shaped branch about 15 foot above the ground) and at ground level (a Ray Mears) whilst stalking I can confirm that altitude really makes the whole experience almost too brilliant and I would very much like to purchase a commode high seat.

I don't know what the anti's will find more distressing, the fact that we shoot Bambi or run around the countryside shitting from trees or high seats at the first opportunity.

S

I reckon you may have been either a pigeon or a seagull in a previous life Mate?!
As for the legalities of cleaning up the old 'witches mouth' with sphagnum moss, I'd love to see that one argued in court!
MS

 

[JAYB]

I thought about it this morning but the snow made think again , it wilol be the bloody midges next...

John