I think you have it right in your post. It's not usually necessary to F/L size NEW brass, but I do so.
New brass is always at SAAMI/CIP dimensions so it chambers in ANY rifle of that cartridge/calibre.
Once new brass is fired in your rifle it should be fire-formed to your chamber & THEN F/L resizing should be to your fired case headspace dimension as you mentioned, thereby not overworking your brass. The case shoulders only need to be bumped back max .002" & the loaded cartridge should then slide into the chamber & bolt lock down easily.
You can adjust your sizing die the way you suggest until you have it set just right. A Hornady headspace tool is an easy way of determining headspace & setting your die accordingly.
The important thing is re-sizing to your chamber & NOT the die instruction settings will extend case life as you're not overworking the brass. Also, annealing cases after each 3 firings helps extend case life.
Others anneal after each firing, but I view that as too frequent & unnecessary.
Good luck