Well if they go by train, they're gonna have to wear masks...
Speaking of which, I have finally purchased some, despite all the previous baloney about why they are not necessary. But soon will be compulsory, as the second wave sweeps in (already in for nearly a week but not yet quite reported, I suspect it will not be good news.) And wearing a bit of fabric across your face is unlikely to change anything.
The pharmacist (who I know well) at my Tesco seemed slightly amused by my request for some. Do you commute ? was her first question. No but I do use public transport and would like to show willing with more than just a scarf around my face.
Here you are she said, ten "face coverings" in pale blue. £6.50. Curiously I asked why they had never had such things available previously. she replied that, amazingly, a massive delivery of "face coverings" had been delivered to the Tesco distribution centre a few hours before the government announcement.
Ok I said, may I have four packets of these token "face coverings" please. That might last me one month.
No, you can only have 20. But I want 40. And this seems to be an "under the counter" item. OK, fill your boots, nobody knows that we have them, not on display, only came in yesterday, read the writing on this packet and take a view.
To which specification do they meet ? Muted giggle, rolled eyes.
Examined the packets of "face coverings" costing 65p each, (branded with a prominent red star logo surrounded by inscrutable writing, which I intend to send to my Chinese/Indonesian sister in law, holed up in Darlington, for interpretation).
I think I could do better with a sheet of good kitchen towel, a couple of clothes pegs and a bit of string. But that might not look good enough for, say, an arsey PCSO.
My plan, which is progressing well, is to continue to grow my hair and beard until my face is entirely covered, nostrils and ears also furred up, the only downside being trying to get through passport control, looking like a hedgehog. Not that that is going to happen anytime soon.