Worst thing your dog's ever done?

[levigsp]

So where does one begin? Merlin my old lurcher, I rescued him from a farmer who beat the rest to death! so I was kind and gentle to him.
When he was 18 months old he started to challenge me, I came home to find a heap resembling some kind of nest in what was once a nice living room, the heap was made from, Carpet, Curtains, Sofa, Chairs, Bedlinen, bed and everything else he could move and destroy.
The destruction had to be seen to be believed and I would have never thought it possible in 4 hours!
He was shouted at and Never did it again, but he emptied the freezer and ate the frozen contents without any problem to him!
He stole my neighbours roast beef! I could go on but you get the message.
So why did I keep him? simply because I loved the dog and as a bonus he earned me more cash in his lifetime then you would believe.

 

[Co1]

Our old terrier once at tinsel off the Christmas tree. Never twigged until I noticed one night that her turds were sparkling in the moonlight!

Same dog also jumped into the front seat of a parked car that had left the door open and had a pee on the drivers seat before jumping out all pleased with herself!

 

[John Gryphon]

The missus and I with three young kids set off on a three day drive to Northern Australia for a six month building job in the Gulf of Carpentaria.We had a large Station Wagon with a wire grill divider between the back seat to isolate my two dogs that were coming too.
I was towing a covered trailer that was jam packed with all sorts of stuff and there was no room for the TV,it was the older type about 22'`s from screen to back.To keep it dust free and clean i had wrapped it in several layers of bubble wrap and I had it roped screen first up against the back seat with the open ventilated back facing into the cargo area.

Well it took 1/2 a day of boredom for the dog pup of 12 months to chew all the effing bubble wrap off,oh well thats that. We stopped overnight at Charleville and after a feed I had a few snags left and took them out to the two dogs,they promptly swallowed them whole.
No worries, next morning the dogs were allowed a clean out and I noticed the dog pup had a bit of a cough/spew and he delivered what looked like some sort of leaf.
Ok high ho up the road we go.

Geezuz then I heard a noise and looked up into the rear view mirror and saw the dog pup suddenly lift his tail high up and facing the tv promptly shat all over the back of the tv fins with a green and effing rotten stinking spray of liquid *****,it went deep down inside the back of the telly and holy Mary did it stink and it was 38C to make it worse.

I had no option but to let the dog out for any more problems to resolve and then continue on our journey. We were in the car for another two stinking days and when we arrived at Karumba and unloaded all of the gear I plugged the tv in and as it warmed up the dog ***** warmed up and stunk like the worst for three days until it was cooked ha ha.
Hot dog! BAH!
My missus as per what wives do/say did nothing but complain and complain and in this case I couldnt blame her ha ha.

 

[bobt]

one of mine has a thing for pigeons, she plucked and ate one the other side of a stream knowing I couldnt reach her, another time she sat in the back of a mates truck and plucked one, it was like a pillowcase had exploded in the back of the car,
her mum once ran into a bush on the cliff at Dover, and didnt stop at the edge, she ended up 100 foot down the cliff face, then climbed back up.

 

[cube]

Haha - brilliant thread,

1 - Yellow Labrador was rushed into vets with pain in his abdomen. Cause of pain was a blockage in his intestines. The vet cut him open and found the source of the issue - the half a barbie doll!!! And of course this was the one of the four dogs we decided not to insure........£380 later..

2 - Springer regularly eats socks which means I have no pairs of socks and regularly have to pull a shitty sock out of its arse .

3 - My 9th birthday cake was a monster football pitch complete with goals, players and a ball. Mum had placed it well out of reach but when dad came home from work he lifted it down to have a look......and forgot to put it back on the top shelf. Cue next morning, bloated farting moaning black lab on the kitchen floor and an immaculately clean cake board.

4 - Teckel - slowly eating his way out of a solid plastic Solway Recycling Dog Kennel, which I thought were absolutely solid.

No doubt we can add to our lists as time goes bye.

Wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[Co1]

Wouldn't have it any other way.

Absolutely!

 

[John Gryphon]

Well my memory was prompted again by reading this thread once more.

30 years ago my mate Bill H rang me up for a phone chat.

G`day mate
Hows it bill
oh mate you shoulda seen me at the vets today
wrtf went down

well I have been watching susie (English Bull t ) getting around the yard trying to drop a henry with no luck
so after three days i took her to the vet

Go on how much?

Well the vet says hold her head while I inspect her rear
So here I am holding susies head while the vets is fingering her quoit (glove on)
When all of a sudden there was this whoosh of gas and green custard shiit that went up the vets arm hit his bent elbow and splashed his face hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (irreverent *******)

Well I myself am laughing like mad while Bill is telling me how the vet is spitting puut puut puut remnants of the custard out and wiping his face.

The culprit was a lamb t-bone lodged inside.

I still laugh to this day.

 

[Silverfoxfintry]

About 15 years ago my wife and I were on a company bash to Bruge in Belgum.
As it wasn't long until Easter we bought the biggest Easter egg for our children.
All wrapped up and hidden under a unit in the dining room.
Returning home a few days later to find that "Sophie" our wire hared Dashchund had unwrapped it, opened the box, removed the silver paper and was licking the Egg.
It as so big she wasn't able to get her teeth into it!
No harm done. Washed the Egg, replaced all the (undamaged) foil and wrappings.
The kids had a great time on Easter morning.
Only told them a couple of years ago!

 

[Tom D]

We left my Springador with some neighbours while we went away, while we were away he killed another neighbours rabbit. It wasn't just any rabbit, it was a huge thing the size of a cocker spaniel, he hadn't savaged it as he is not particularly hard mouthed, I suspect it died of shock (in the arms of its owner on the way to the vets). Neighbourly relations have soured a little since then, poor dog, he must have thought all his christmases had come at once seeing a 3 stone rabbit..

Glad we were away at the time to be honest.

 

[Ben1987]

My infamous little black terrier had an appetite to match his attitude. Xmas time and we'd killed all the turkeys and delivered them. It was the really cold winter and next door had had a monster turkey off us and left it in the porch to stay chilled. 730 on Xmas eve we got a phone call...are you missing a little black dog? Yes we are he's gone off hunting somewhere. Well he's done very well he's made a kill...he's just finished a 21lb turkey in our porch and looks fit to burst! Oops he was in disgrace for a little while.

He also swallowed a hot dog sausage whole before the others could get it and a few minutes later spewed it back up like a little torpedo on my brothers lap.

 

[Red Dragon 2]

The Weimaraner and the cat managed to polish off a 20 lb turkey and 48 sausages left to cool on the back of the cooker while we popped next door for a drink with the in-laws one Christmas. All that was left was two spotless roasting tins and the scaly ends of the legs of the turkey.
He also managed to chew through a whole pack of tongue and groove timber left in the boiler room to season, right through the centre of each piece. He would also empty a bag of potatoes and bite each one until the bag was empty.

 

[finnbear270]

Christmas day Turkey resting in foil, enter Rescue'd dog Meg the Lurcher, exit one full turkey (for good), Walking the canal towpath once with another rescue dog, this time a throwback saddlebag sized Beagle called Toby, vacuumed up the contents of the fisherman's bait tubs, both animal & vegetable, another dog took two large pork chops off the grill pan in the cooker, still spitting with fat, one Greyhound rescue (Basil) took great delight in finely shredding discarded chip wrappings,... I could go on..., maybe one day I'll get to own a dedicated hunting Teckel

 

[kimh]

chose me as her companion, the dog is far more intelligent than me at field craft but she humours me

 

[Adamsp1]

Got invited on a posh shoot in deepest darkest Somerset, shoot captain was the proprietor of the local hotel so the pre shoot meeting was held in the very posh dining room at the foot of the quantock hills, anyway he had just got to "no ground game" when my highly intelligent springer spaniel who I had left in the yard to acquaint with the hundreds of black Labradors, came in looked at the shoot captain and decided to cock his leg up against the hostess trolley. All of the time, looking at me with a fixed gaze. I got placed in the strangest peg positions that day and never really saw a bird.............and was not invited back.

 

[Moley.243]

This wasn't my dog but belonged to one of my ex bosses, on Xmas day a big family gathering was being had and everyone was bringing different parts of the meal. Granny's Xmas pud was left unattended in the kitchen while everyone was in the living room opening presents,that was mistake number one, mistake number two was banishing the dog to one of the cars as punishment where the turkey sat one the front seat. No prizes for guessing the end of this story.

 

[unicorn71]

First and only Chesapeake decided that anything that looked at me sideways had to die regardless of size (think large bull) and was a huge embarrassment on shoot days when anybody tried to help me with carrying the bag which she had decided was hers and needed guarding. She eventually calmed her ways but the one habit I could never break her of was chasing down Swans in the river and retrieving the unhurt to hand-bad on a private estate , nightmare at a kids birthday party in the local park.

 

[shakey jake]

my old lurcher tore her leg badly and after weeks at home and huge vet bill the head vet said he woyld keep her in at 18 quid a day with the wound open and airing ina sterile environment she spent about a week there first 4 days no pooh being feed as normal vet nurses asked me if this was normal i said no but she can be a bit of a c××t some times so she prob wants a run. well next day she eats a chain that holds her cage shut and then proceeds to explode with 5 days of re eaten dog shi× all over hr self and ths cage, i didnt see so can only guess the horror,she was moved to a side room to be cleaned up and destroyed the lino in minutes . when i picked her up all the girl said was your dog can be a bit of a c×÷t cant she.

 

[tia]

Worst thing my lab did was live till it was 16 !!!!

 

[AN DU RU FOX]

border /lakie bitch decided to move in with a vixen for four days,!!!saluki/greyhound bitch trapped a nerve about three miles from home carried it on two fence posts and my coat,,never had a dog since,

 

[8885]

My springer decided while we were visiting very posh relations to drop her bum on the new beige carpet and drag her arse for a good 3 foot leaving a nice trail behind her. Felt softer than andrex I'm sure.