I used to stalk in a high amenity area, to blend in I wore a loden coat and carried a stutzen slung upside down, continental style. Most people never saw the rifle. Low profile and all that.
One particularly fine morning I slotted a nice wee pricked and stashed it on a bank just off the track for later collection.
Walking along the track back to the car I bumped into a lady with 4 dogs, typical hairy little crotch warmers. I wished her a good morning, but she copped the rifle and I got the hairy eyeball. Real stink eye!
Collected the deer, drove home, thinking good thoughts and at peace with creation. Arrived home started to cook breakfast, turned on the radio and my world turned to sh1t in less than 2 minutes.
Guess who phoned into the countries favourite talk show National parks service forrestry HQ, and the newspapers?
She probably would have posted on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook too, but they hadn't been invented yet.
Never again will I underestimate the nose on a hairy crotch warmer.
It must have taken all of 30 seconds for the phone to ring, was it me?
Yep, guilty as charged. Had I posted the signs and checked in?
Yep.
Hmm, try to be a bit more discreet.
I heard the programme and I'm doing me best.
Three days later I return to the scene of the crime, no shot but guess who I meet on the way out, Crotch Warming Fanny Sniffer pack and all?
Good morning!
I got a glare that would turn whiskey to water, but pressed on regardless.
By any chance had her CWFS pack found a deer recently?
They had ( the wee *****).
Had she phoned the radio newspaper and the forestry HQ?
She had.
Well thank you very much, there's a lot of poaching in the area and that makes it very difficult to achieve a balanced cull plan.
Really appreciate you keeping an eye out and taking the time to make the reports. My car is the green jeep and if you see it in the car park I'm here somewhere, no problem with the dog walking.
She was absolutely charmed, and a lovely lady besides.
Any time I met her afterwards, she used to tell me what deer she'd seen and where and when and tales of many many other things that she saw but that she really shouldn't have been looking at.
It was one of those forest areas near a city where even the big bad wolf was cautious after dark.
Lost the ground after a change of forester, the new guy didn't want anyone shooting in high amenity areas.
Pity really, I found hand cuffs, blow up dolls, wall safes, cars, a boat, motorcycles teddy bears, underwear and loads of other really cool stuff during my tenure.
It added interest to the day.
I reckon a half way decent drug dog would have funded my retirement.
I suppose the advice is to try to get them on your side, stay polite and don't make things any worse.
Also, never trust a pack of CWFS's.
