Largest House Spider?

[techman]

The largest house spider in Britain (in the Guinness book of records)was found in the road adjacent to ours. We often have its offspring in our house. The same as Sako 85, put them out and they keep coming back in.

 

[JMikeyH]

So my ex wife found a strange bite on her finger one morning.
After a brief search, this turned up! It's a 'False Widow' which is easily identified as it has a skull on its abdomen!!
MS

I've thrown 2 of those out the house in the last couple of weeks. I'll be less cavalier with them in future

 

[Bugsy]

This one is resident in workshop toilet , a wee one compared to others quoted .

 

[Tagoat]

I'm sorry chaps..... You can keep your Guiness book of records. Yup!.
The one I "rescued" on Monday evening broke them all.
I heard the blighter before I saw it! (laminate flooring) Eeeeek.
I had neither the time nor the inclination to reach for the tape measure or camera. It was well on it's toes!
Now I may be prone to a tad of exaggeration, but I swear it's leg span was at least 4" & it's body the size of a penny piece!
Instinct took over, so I reached for the hoover. And I'll tell you something it put up a flippin decent fight! As it whirred up the hose it was still full of it!

 

[John Gryphon]

I remember thrusting my right arm down the sleeve of my Drizabone Coat that had been hanging on a peg on the wall. A ****ing Huntsman Spider the size of a blokes hand came out of the sleeve and ran across my neck and face and stopped dead still over my right eye spanning my eyeball with its legs and its body stopped coverering right over my eye. I was around 30 yrs at the time and my eyesight was good enough then to think "phuck that hair on its guts looks like mouse fur"

Then I screamed like a sheila and belted the **** off in a milli second...ha ha it was quite an experience.

 

[camodog]

Been hand-feeding this 'baby' in the garage since February with bluebottles !

 

[zambezi]

My place has been invaded by false widows, not a whole lot of anything else left alive.

Same here. Never seen so many of them.

 

[Jamouk]

Was getting off a Train in Liverpool one morning on way to a meeting (from London) and received a call from my misses telling me I had to get home straight away as there was a spider in the kitchen .. this was my old house .. I wasnt there long ... my first thought.. oh shut up u silly cow im not coming home all this way to get rid of a spider lol ... then got the below pics through and thought ... hang on glad im in Liverpool eventually my Dad came round and was laughing as he entered probably also thinking silly cow ... then saw the below and went a bit quiet ... could hear my son in the back ground offering to dispatch it with his .177 ... turned out to be a rubber one that one of the terriers had dragged out from under the kitchen cupboards .. must have been from kids from previous owner of house

 

[SimpleSimon]

More than once I've had a bollocking off the wife for leaping out of bed in the middle of the night and throwing the duvet off because of a spider in the bed. No idea how many instances are real and how many are dreams!

I can definitely recall the biggest spider I ever saw, which alerted me to its presence with an audible thud when it fell from the open top window onto the sill.

Thankfully the indoor population is quite low, spider coursing season is a sporting highlight in our house and my dogs are always fit and keen!

 

[Cawdor118]

There are/were a couple of colonies in Bournemouth in the stone walls on the 'zig zags' a few years back. I was personally pretty sceptical about it so I took my UV torch out and sure enough I saw two. Whether the colony is still there or not I've no idea but it was strange find scorpions is such a populous area and away from any obvious point of entry.

FN

I saw this on a TV documentary a few years back. If I recall, it was a beach wall?

 

[John Gryphon]

One of my favourite pranks (still is) is to tie a big black rubber hairy scary spider onto a bit of fishing line and hang it 6' off the end of the rod.
After a night on the grog I would sneak to whichever mate was asleep and lower the rod tip and drape the spider onto their face with a little realistic jiggle.
When they wake all they see is a motha ****ing spider and belt it away.....but it comes back swinging on its bit of web....holy **** you will never see grown men get out of the farter as quick anywhere....usually accompanied by primordial screams haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

[starr shot]

One of my favourite pranks (still is) is to tie a big black rubber hairy scary spider onto a bit of fishing line and hang it 6' off the end of the rod.
After a night on the grog I would sneak to whichever mate was asleep and lower the rod tip and drape the spider onto their face with a little realistic jiggle.
When they wake all they see is a motha ****ing spider and belt it away.....but it comes back swinging on its bit of web....holy **** you will never see grown men get out of the farter as quick anywhere....usually accompanied by primordial screams haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Funny as f**k it’s a wonder your still alive. What’s it like to sleep with one eye open and constantly looking over your shoulder.

 

[SimpleSimon]

One of my favourite pranks (still is) is to tie a big black rubber hairy scary spider onto a bit of fishing line and hang it 6' off the end of the rod.
After a night on the grog I would sneak to whichever mate was asleep and lower the rod tip and drape the spider onto their face with a little realistic jiggle.
When they wake all they see is a motha ****ing spider and belt it away.....but it comes back swinging on its bit of web....holy **** you will never see grown men get out of the farter as quick anywhere....usually accompanied by primordial screams haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Hahaha! Cruel b*****d!

 

[John Gryphon]

Funny as f**k it’s a wonder your still alive.

I have a very humourous tale about an ex bro in law that received 'the treatment'

 

[Dunwaters]

View attachment 173314

Found this young lady in the shed a couple of weeks ago. One of Dunwater's I believe!

No, no , fairs fair. You found it so you can keep it, there's more than enough to go around.

 

[sikamalc]

I always know when we have a larger than life spider in the house. Usually its my other half, Sandra, that finds them.

All I get is a loud scream, "THERES A CATERGORY 3 IN THE BATHROOM" This means its a call for me to deal with, Catergory 2 is also a call for me too. 1 is not so bad and is usually tolerated to an extent. Usually I just dispatch them, as they are not really welcome in the house...................no I will rephrase that, they are banned 100% otherwise I would never hear the last of it.
Having been to Africa with me was a joy with Sandra and my mother a few years back. I must have spent more time making sure both tents were bug free than I care to remember

 

[FoxLamper]

Huntsman from the glorious Down Under!!!

 

[camodog]

This'll be more than a 'category 3' when Mrs Camodog pulls back the duvet tonight !

 

[FrenchieBoy]

This'll be more than a 'category 3' when Mrs Camodog pulls back the duvet tonight !

You're a real bad un Camodog!
I would love to ba a fly on your wall when she sees that!

 

[camodog]

You're a real bad un Camodog!
I would love to ba a fly on your wall when she sees that!

So would I 'FB'.......but hey, I'll be half way up the M6 by then ! I may hear the shrieking tho' ! After 35 years together it's still good to be able to laugh at the 'little things' !