Sporting dad dilemma

[BenBhoy]

Evening all,

Some of you might remember me asking for advice on buying cricket gear for my daughter (cheers for all the help with that).

Now with a change of circumstances, I've ended up (very happily/proudly) being head coach of the U11 girls team. They are a fantastic group of kids, listen (in general) & give it all on match day. And also my daughter plays for them. In fact she's captain (decided by previous coach, but she's natural at it).

Season is drawing to an end, final game Sunday. The following Friday we have an awards ceremony. Each kid gets a medal. But also I have to choose U11 cricketer of the year.... Yeah, awkward.

In absolutely all honesty, genuinely, my girl is the best player. She leads from front opening bat, top scores regularly. Fantastic in the field, confident catching (but lots of good fielders) and in top 3 of bowling stats.

All in all, I think everyone would honestly say she's been player of the season. But, can I, as her dad & her coach, give her the award in front of all the other parents??

There will be 2 awards. One for best cricketer & one for another "area" I need to decide upon....


Help?!!!!

 

[Husky]

Get the team to vote for who gets the awards.

 

[Quarrybank]

Give all the team-kids a voting form to vote for player of the year and the most improved player of the year.

 

[zimtrout]

Took the words out my mouth...

 

[BenBhoy]

Give all the team-kids a voting form to vote for player of the year and the most improved player of the year.

I've already decided I don't want to do "most improved". To me, as a dad, it's like the award of "you started really crap. Now you're a bit less crap".

 

[charlie222]

As above, team game, team decision. I feel your pain though .

 

[jall55]

Best batter
Best batter
Best fielder
Best "team" player - who helps tidy up after and set up before - who motivates the team and keeps their head up when the chips are down - who goes that extra mile

 

[Mungo]

I've already decided I don't want to do "most improved". To me, as a dad, it's like the award of "you started really crap. Now you're a bit less crap".

My son’s rugby team has this problem. The best player by far (and widely acknowledged as such) is the head coach’s son. They do 3 awards: best player (decided by the three coaches), players player (voted on by the kids - and always an interesting and remarkably sensible choice), and most improved.

Among the kids, most improved is really sought after and regarded very highly. It is not at all seen as you describe - it’s seen as a genuine recognition of effort and development. My son has never won it, but got mentioned last year as one of the 2-3 in contention for it. He was absolutely thrilled to be recognised for his effort.

So if you as a coach are sincere in helping weaker players develop, they really notice and react. If you’re not, and treat the weaker players with a sort of resigned tolerance (which many coaches do), they also notice. And that’s when ‘most improved’ becomes the celebration of mediocrity that you’re afraid of.

It comes down to your attitude as a coach. Do you actually care about the weak players? Or is it all about the stars?

 

[Essexsussex]

Give all the team-kids a voting form to vote for player of the year and the most improved player of the year.

We do something similar - players player. But do it by WhatsApp and get the parents to send in their kids votes.

 

[Essexsussex]

I've already decided I don't want to do "most improved". To me, as a dad, it's like the award of "you started really crap. Now you're a bit less crap".

I don’t think this tbh. Most improved is an important award.

 

[Crowstalker]

As others have said let sombody else or the team choose that awardee by maybe a secret ballot? sombody independent and certainly not yourself it will be seen as you are just choosing her because she's your daughter, it will leave a bad taste in everyone's mouth. It happened to a person I know when they were younger and in a club it was always the leaders children who won all the awards every year the only time sombody else won something was the one year they got someone completely unrelated to choose the awards.

 

[Sishy]

I used to help run my lads footy team and whenever it was awards night other coaches awarded their kids it didn’t go down well , but as others has said get the players to vote and the parents (although they generally vote for their own kids in football ) so you get 11 different votes , the kids voting is the best one

 

[Apthorpe]

I don’t think this tbh. Most improved is an important award.

Also this. Crap people making an improvement by tryimg hard andnpersevering is both harder and more sporting than the natural talent doing well.
During school sports days, it's often the kid who waddles in last by a mile but never giving up and ttying hardest who gets the loudest cheers. Quite rightly..

 

[WalkedUp]

1. Players’ Player (by vote from players)
2. Most Improved or Fans’ Favourite (by vote from parents)
3. Player of the Year (by a published metric)

At school (state) I was admittedly a little horror but top of the year in all the proper subjects. At the final awards following A-Levels for best student in Physics, Chemistry and Biology departments snubbed me despite being the only A grade in each of them. The next closest was actually a C rather than a B in Physics! The consensus was that I had brought the average down with my inability to take any of it seriously. Mathematics however published their award criteria… the boy with the top score got the award so I was safe. When presented with it at the town hall I mentioned that I was pleased that Mathematics had a sensible system, with no grace or gratitude whatsoever.

Years later I reflect upon the fact that actually the other subjects were probably right. Not only did they not want to reward someone who already hogged the limelight, that they did not feel obligated to give the award to a cocky fecker and that my success had already been at the loss of the other students and average grades with my unruly behaviour.

This is a long and boring reminiscence, but I just wanted to highlight that the individual brilliance of one isn’t always of critical benefit to the group. There are other traits that are important to consider and score when giving praise.

 

[Stalker62]

At school (state) I was admittedly a little horror but top of the year in all the proper subjects.

Having been 'dragged up' abroad, I came back to the UK just in time to fail my '11+'.





Consequently, the school I was sentenced to, was little more than a Borstal.


The only real three options open to school-leavers was:-

British Rail


British Army




British Prison.




Most of my mates ended up in the Clink!

 

[WalkedUp]

Having been 'dragged up' abroad, I came back to the UK just in time to fail my '11+'.

I passed my 11+ but refused to accept my place at the grammar school as my little pals were going to a local Catholic boys’ school, and I wanted to stay with them . I was one of five, my mum was on her own and had enough on her plate so it seemed sensible to let a 10-year old decide . It didn’t affect me really but my little brother followed on and by then our particular ‘charm’ was wearing thin, my five As counted for nothing and he was kicked out without any A-Levels or assistance and never recovered.

Apologies for drifting so far off topic!

 

[KimE]

There is no need for awards to kids in what age the most common motivation for doing sport for most kids are who of their friends are also in the team. To show the difference between players too much can make girls who could grow as players at 15-18 years age leave early then they are only 12-13y.

 

[scotch_egg]

Encouragement to come back next year, retention is important. Although I do believe not everyone can win something or it does stop people trying so hard…

First catch/wicket
Players player


Special thank you to the captain who lead by example would be a fitting way of not looking to not be seen as special treatment but acknowledging sporting achievement.

 

[palmer_mike]

can I, as her dad & her coach, give her the award in front of all the other parents??

probably not.
It would most likely lead to raised eyebrows at the least.

I’d recommend one of 2 options.
1: get players or parents to have a secret ballot to pick
2: get someone (maybe the committee?) to choose the best player.