The curse of the highlands...

[Freeforester]

To the Sometime Highland Would-be Adventurer

(For the camp wannabe - some advice given, free...)
'Tis never too clever, to camp by the river,
Pray follow the deer, to a high spot that's clear;
So- find a good breeze and there rest at your ease...
The midgies adore the calm valley floor,
Where the wind drops at night so the midgies delight
In sensing your breath and then bite near to death
The unwary camper - aye, they'll soon see you scamper
And, with arms and hands flailing (- you'd be better off bailing!)
For shelter hell-bent, you'll retreat to your tent
But all is in vain, if you choose to remain;
Best take to the hill, even though there's a chill,
⁃ The cooler fresh breeze will see the midge ease
And rest there: midge-free, your campsite should be
Till morning you'll rest, for they cannot molest
Where the dry wind doth blow - they scarcely will show
But damp and still air is their much preferred lair,
And feast with great relish, making camp-life there hellish;
The deer know this best, and go elsewhere to rest,
So- to loftier heights is the wise choice for nights
Pray, before making camp, steer clear of the damp:
Choose 'upward and breezy' to make your life easy;
Aye out of the trees, where you'll sense a slight breeze
And NEVER FORGET to pack your midge net!

 

[Laurie]

When I was in my teens I went with my parents on a week's camping holiday in the Oban area. It blew so hard the first night, we abandoned the tents and took to the car. Then it rained, and rained, and rained .... so we went home on Wednesday. ........... and of course, the rain stopped and the sun came out. Sometime late afternoon we stopped for a teabreak on a quiet bit of road next to a really nice small river. Wide grass verge, mature trees, - idyllic! My job was to get the Primus stove out of the boot, assemble it, pour and light the meths to heat up the burner ring and pump the stove like mad at the right moment. I'd just reached that point when a black cloud descended from the foliage above. I'd seen enough of the blighters over the years and suffered their bites, but never like this - it was like something in a Tom & Jerry cartoon! There was nothing for it but to open the Primus pressure valve, throw it and its case into the car, and run away. And of course, when we opened the car doors and rushed inside, the cloud followed, so my father drove down the road at double his usual unadventurous speed with every window wound down to blow the damned things out.

 

[JockStalk]

Now I’m itching just from the memories.

 

[zambezi]

Along with several chums we walked the West Highland Way in a summer a few years back.

Heading north from Glasgow, Loch Lomond is met at Balmaha and route then tracks the water's edge for miles.

Hooboy. We gave blood. Involuntarily. To billions of midgies. It got to the point where I thought anaemia was a very real possibility in a week's walking.

 

[Tim.243]

To the Sometime Highland Would-be Adventurer

(For the camp wannabe - some advice given, free...)
'Tis never too clever, to camp by the river,
Pray follow the deer, to a high spot that's clear;
So- find a good breeze and there rest at your ease...
The midgies adore the calm valley floor,
Where the wind drops at night so the midgies delight
In sensing your breath and then bite near to death
The unwary camper - aye, they'll soon see you scamper
And, with arms and hands flailing (- you'd be better off bailing!)
For shelter hell-bent, you'll retreat to your tent
But all is in vain, if you choose to remain;
Best take to the hill, even though there's a chill,
⁃ The cooler fresh breeze will see the midge ease
And rest there: midge-free, your campsite should be
Till morning you'll rest, for they cannot molest
Where the dry wind doth blow - they scarcely will show
But damp and still air is their much preferred lair,
And feast with great relish, making camp-life there hellish;
The deer know this best, and go elsewhere to rest,
So- to loftier heights is the wise choice for nights
Pray, before making camp, steer clear of the damp:
Choose 'upward and breezy' to make your life easy;
Aye out of the trees, where you'll sense a slight breeze
And NEVER FORGET to pack your midge net!

Private Frazer had his version

 

[Bo Diddley]

No wonder the Scots are so hardy and resilient.
My GF's cousin is I'm sure a cross with a mountain goat, he hikes up to the top of a mountain with his "Wing" in the evenings, sleeps for a few hours on an exercise mat, then when the sun is rising he will have his Mars Bar for breakfast before launching off the side of the mountain and catches the thermals, he has some wonderful GoPro videos... top bloke is Simon.

 

[maximus otter]

Along with several chums we walked the West Highland Way in a summer a few years back.

Heading north from Glasgow, Loch Lomond is met at Balmaha and route then tracks the water's edge for miles.

Hooboy. We gave blood. Involuntarily. To billions of midgies. It got to the point where I thought anaemia was a very real possibility in a week's walking.

maximus otter

 

[Rory]

 

[Freeforester]

Must be something they get taught (obey ze television wezzerman!) or something in the wasser, idk: