I'm sorry guys but that is the best that I can say about the situation right now except that I feel that there is nothing left for me to do now but to give up myself.
You and your wife are going through a tough time.
Circadian rhythms (for most folk) mean that we are at our 'lowest' between 0200 and 0300 hours - I note the time of your post.
This is the time when we feel our 'darkest'.
Serious illness can also manifest itself with forms of depression, aggression, denial and irrationality - this is normal.
Hang tough.
Speak about how you are feeling to your family and to your health cafe professional.
If you are using alcohol - do so in moderation (it is a depressant).
If it is night - try and sleep.
If you cannot sleep, sit and watch the sun rise.
If the sun rises, it means it is a new day. Deal with what that day brings (and only that day). Literally, take one day at a time.
What you and your wife are dealing with is horrible, it is hard and it is utterly natural.
Be there for each other for as long as you both can.
Life is precious - live every second of it.