Dangerous stuff this stalking lark….

[Foxyboy43]

Soooo, as I was sitting at the breakfast table reading the thread on finding old bottles treasure I dropped a blueberry (no, that is not a metaphor lads). Still seated and sylph-like as I ever, I steadied my left hand on the table and simply leant over to pick it up. Of course the sodding tablecloth only slid across the table taking my hand with it, knocking over the plastic tray of blueberries and thereby inducing upon me a most amusing head-first gravitational pull - downwards. Fortunately this plunge was interrupted, only momentarily however, by the whacking of my head on the table corner - just as my arse parted company with the chair. As could probably be anticipated the floor broke my head-first fall and I ended up in a tangled heap - grazed head, twisted neck and best of all a highly amused young Labrador which naturally took the unexpected opportunity to lick what is left of my face. I may just lie here for a while and enjoy the bouquet of freshly crushed blueberries…
In her usual helpful way the sainted Lady FB is in London, where else would she be when I need resuscitation?
Anyone suggest a way of getting blueberry stains out of a carpet and blueberries out of a labrador?
Bloody dangerous this stalking lark…

 

[willie_gunn]

Anyone suggest a way of getting blueberry stains out of a carpet and blueberries out of a labrador?

Give it time and doubtless the blueberries will work their own way out of the lab

As to the carpet stains, place the blueberry container on the edge of the table, drop a couple onto the carpet, and as the lab is hoving into view be sure to take a photo on your phone. Text the photo to Lady FB along with a message along the lines of "look what I found YOUR labrador doing!!"

 

[opticron1]

Age, decrepitude and gravity........the challenges of getting to that ....errr....mature point in life.... Where we find ever more entertaining ways of reaching the pearly gates!
Get well soon.....and get the "shake and vac" out for the blueberries!

And I'm sure you'll know when the berries make it out of the dog!

 

[Foxyboy43]

Give it time and doubtless the blueberries will work their own way out of the lab

As to the carpet stains, place the blueberry container on the edge of the table, drop a couple onto the carpet, and as the lab is hoving into view be sure to take a photo on your phone. Text the photo to Lady FB along with a message along the lines of "look what I found YOUR labrador doing!!"

Sage-like advice and a continuing source of comfort so freely given on this site….err…. except the last bit - verging on suicidal methinks….

 

[Foxyboy43]

Age, decrepitude and gravity........the challenges of getting to that ....errr....mature point in life.... Where we find ever more entertaining ways of reaching the pearly gates!
Get well soon.....and get the "shake and vac" out for the blueberries!

And I'm sure you'll know when the berries make it out of the dog!

As immediately above - and sooooo reassuring - thank you…

 

[Foxyboy43]

This unfortunate little incident reminds of a time very long ago when whilst wearing a baseball type hat - with a long peak, I jumped a dry ditch whilst carrying an opened shotgun. Sooo when I woke up sometime later lying flat on my back in said ditch the first thing that (eventually) came into focus overhead was a rather stout hawthorn branch that the damned leak had obscured pre-jump. My gazelle-like leap had been interrupted mid-arc by the contents of the baseball cap smacking against the damned branch resulting in the then not so old nor decrepit FB knocking himself out cold and ending up flat on his back in the ditch. I have the scar to this day and very clear recollection of the trails of blood running down either side of my face, my dear old labrador Meg was sitting next to my crumpled body, helpfully wagging her tail.
Anyone remember The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie children? Foxyboy does…..

 

[FrenchieBoy]

Foxyboy old mate, you sound like a disaster trying to find somewhere to happen, and you can't keep blaming things on the poor lab!

 

[Foxyboy43]

Foxyboy old mate, you sound like a disaster trying to find somewhere to happen, and you can't keep blaming things on the poor lab!

How very dare you sir!
Anyway it’s nice down here on the floor…..

 

[Foxyboy43]

Err….I think I may have done more damage than I thought…

 

[willie_gunn]

This unfortunate little incident reminds of a time very long ago when whilst wearing a baseball type hat - with a long peak, I jumped a dry ditch whilst carrying an opened shotgun. Sooo when I woke up sometime later lying flat on my back in said ditch the first thing that (eventually) came into focus overhead was a rather stout hawthorn branch that the damned leak had obscured pre-jump. My gazelle-like leap had been interrupted mid-arc by the contents of the baseball cap smacking against the damned branch resulting in the then not so old nor decrepit FB knocking himself out cold and ending up flat on his back in the ditch. I have the scar to this day and very clear recollection of the trails of blood running down either side of my face, my dear old labrador Meg was sitting next to my crumpled body, helpfully wagging her tail.
Anyone remember The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie children? Foxyboy does…..

Are you and @Stalker62 distant relatives by any chance?

 

[wytonpjs]

Between you, @VSS and @Stalker62 you are giving us "older" stalkers something of a bad name. Do buck your ideas up please - standards

 

[Foxyboy43]

Between you, @VSS and @Stalker62 you are giving us "older" stalkers something of a bad name. Do buck your ideas up please - standards

 

[Foxyboy43]

Are you and @Stalker62 distant relatives by any chance?

No comment though my mother did live in London for a while…

 

[lochty]

Are you and @Stalker62 distant relatives by any chance?

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Foxyboy43]

My thoughts exactly.

None taken….

 

[Bavarianbrit]

None taken….

You are a one! Naughty, now DNA evidence will surface.

 

[Smellydog]

FB, you are not alone. I was pacing off 100 strides to shoot a card today and for no logical reason the turf decided to delaminate from the planet earth under my left heel causing my legs to crumple and I nearly ended up eating the sodding turf!!
The grey sky momentarily turned a vivid shade of blue!!

 

[Foxyboy43]

FB, you are not alone. I was pacing off 100 strides to shoot a card today and for no logical reason the turf decided to delaminate from the planet earth under my left heel causing my legs to crumple and I nearly ended up eating the sodding turf!!
The grey sky momentarily turned a vivid shade of blue!!

Welcome to my world Smelly!