Anything that’s got woodpecker in distress
Nothing worse than that.
Reminds me of the tale of a business man over seas in Japan.
He asked if the up market hotel had a barber and was told no apologetically but was informed of a machine that does it near the lift on his floor!
So he takes a look and sure enough there is a row of machines.
Haircut and choice of styles 20 yen.
Puts his money in and pokes his head in the machine.
The machine whirs and shakes and in no time his hair is cut and looking pretty good he thinks.
Next to it is a machine for manicures. 15 yen .
Puts his money in and hands and the machine whirls to life vibrating and clicking away then stops.
He retracts his hands to reveal lovely shining nails, wow he thinks to himself.
The next machine has his imagination running wild.
The machine title translated as " machine to do job of wife when man away from home"! 10 yen.
Looking about he unzips his trousers and carefully places his manhood in the machine and simultaneously inserts the money.
The machine springs to life. Violently shaking and making strange noises.
At the same time our man is experiencing excruciating pain. His eyes are watering as he attempts to escape but machine will not release him.
Eventually the ordeal is over and he extracts what is left of his battered and bruised member only to find he now has a nice new shiny button sewn onto the end of it!!